A year without....

Wrapping up the Holidays

2011-12-21T16:25:00.000-08:00

Christmas is around the corner and I finally got around to wrapping my gifts. I actually finished my Christmas shopping on November 25th (thank you Amazon!) and it arrived on December 6th. When I opened the box today I realized that I'd purchased some gifts that I didn't remember buying. Oops!

This weekend was filled with lots of fun. I made marshmallows, some homemade mac n cheese, I baked a seasonal version of my mother's caramel bars, had a visit from old friends and went to a cookie party! Phew!

I was going to write a much longer, more detailed post but the baby is waking, the dog is attempting to each my dinner and I've got more important things to do tend to. So here's a little photo glimpse of the past few days. Enjoy.

breastfeeding and all things boob.

2011-12-16T13:42:00.000-08:00

When I first became pregnant I knew that I wanted to be a breastfeeding mother. My mom breastfed my siblings and I, an aunt of my breastfed her children. It just seemed like the right thing to do.

So when Sadie was born I immediately began breastfeeding and I was ecstatic with how easy it seemed. She seemed to latch on just fine by her second day, she seemed satisfied when she was done and I was feeling very pleased with myself. I loved the little expressions that she made right before she latched on and I loved the way she appeared drunk off milk and drift off to a deep slumber when she was done.

Things seemed perfect. How could anyone complain that this was difficult or uncomfortable. It seemed so simple.

Then my milk came in.

No one told me what it feels like when your milk comes in.

For those that are expecting or for those that wish to know, you feel like your boobs were taken from you and replaced with giant sized rocks. It hurts. There’s this intense pressure and the only way to remove all of that pressure is for your baby to feed. And feed. And feed. Of course your baby really only wants a few tablespoons at this time. And this is where the problems begin.

I became a fountain. My bra’s stunk of breast milk. I couldn’t find a breast pad that would absorb the downpour that my boobs created. I was changing my shirts several times a day. I was in pain. I felt gross. Sadie struggled with fire hose like stream that I was forcing down her throat. She cried. I cried. I got mastitis. Things were no longer easy and carefree. I could see why people give up on breastfeeding.

Eventually I got through it. There were days when Sadie just wouldn’t latch so I’d resort to pumping and feeding. There were days that I just stuck a cloth diaper down my shirt and changed it when it was too wet.

It seemed like I was one of those mothers with an over supply and oh, woe is me. I have too much milk.

Then I went back to work.

At first pumping was fine. I had a steady supply, I had a mini stash all ready saved up in the freezer. I seemed to be pumping about 13 ounces a day in two sessions. My baby had plenty to drink while I was gone and I was worry free.

Fast forward 4 weeks and all of a sudden I’m producing half the amount that I used to. I’m increasing my pumping sessions to 3 times a day and still struggling to keep enough milk in the fridge for her needs the following day. At this point I cried. I considered quitting my job. I thought about giving up. I wasn’t in the best space.

I ended up resorting to taking herbal supplements (fenugreek & fennel) and drinking fancy nursing mother’s teas. It seems to be working and I’m producing a decent supply but its still not where it was.

Why am I writing all of this? Because no one told me any of this. Today I came home from work and tried to nurse my baby but I had pumped an hour and a half ago so she wasn’t satisfied. I ended up going into my precious milk stash and warming up a bottle for her and feeding that way. It had me thinking how easy it would be to just bottle feed her and use formula. I could be one of those cool mom’s that has a bottle stashed in her purse, rather than the mom the smells of breast milk and has sore nipples.

But then I remember why I breastfeed. I breastfeed because I love the look on her face when she nurses, and I don’t get to see that look on her face when she’s sucking on a bottle. I breast feed because I really can’t afford to spend the $50+ a week it would cost to formula feed. I breast feed because it’s a heck of a lot easier to whip out my boob at midnight than stumble around the house to heat a bottle.

This definitely hasn’t been easy, and it’s definitely been emotionally exhausting, as well as physically exhausting. I’m not sure how long we’ll do this for, I’d like to do a year, but I’ve decided to just focus on getting through the month and see how things go. And hey, if we end up having to formula feed that will be okay too. I’ll do what I can, when I can, for how long I can.

sleigh bells ring..

2011-12-15T14:44:00.000-08:00

Sadie has been growing in leaps and bounds. She's finally around 12lbs and now she can roll over and throw herself out of her bouncy chair. I was impressed by the first and not so much by the later (we've since been buckling her in). Christmas is 10 days away and we didn't do our traditional level of decorating this year. We simple put up the tree and put out a few mirrored abstract trees. The putting up and taking down of our Halloween decorations felt so time consuming that I couldn't imagine doing the same level of decorating this year that we've done in years past.

It seems like a lot of things are going unfinished as of late. Poor Ollie is LONG over due for a hair cut (he's going in on Monday, finally). My clothing remains in the dryer for hours, sometimes even days after it's done. I haven't cooked a decent meal in I don't know how long. And the over all cleaning and organization of my home is left in shambles. I don't like living this way, but I can't seem to make the time to address these issues. When I have a moment to myself I much prefer to write, sip hot cocoa, catch up TV shows I've missed, read blogs, listen to music, and just relax. So I guess you can say my life is disorganized and messy by choice. Bleh.

Below is an example of what happens when your crazy kitty decides the space under the tree is the perfect place to play. At least Sadie is young enough she won't know the cat opened her present before she could.

While our home isn't as festive as I typically like, I'm trying to find other ways to embrace the holiday spirit. We listen to Christmas music every evening, I'm wearing more seasonal colors and lots of sparkle, and my manicures as of late are inspired by ornaments and ribbon candy.

Our environment may be messy and chaotic, but we still manage to relax and enjoy each other. My hopes for this weekend are to try this recipe as a special treat for the cookie party we're attending on Sunday, and to look up some easy, healthy recipes that I can prepare for next week. Wish me luck.

Happy Holidays.

slow down & relax

2011-12-11T12:19:00.000-08:00

Slow down and relax.

This seems to be my mantra these days. I'm constantly trying to calm myself down, take deep breaths and just relax. I don't like to blog about my job, but I will add that things are getting busy there and I'm taking on more work which is causing me stress out a little too much.

I like to do things well. I'm a bit of a perfectionist. I'm also a control freak. I'm schedule driven and organized. For reasons beyond me I always end up working in jobs that are unpredictable and subject to frequent crisis. I guess other jobs just seem too boring. I'm not entirely sure.

So in an effort to relax Sadie and I are snuggling together every evening after I return home from work. I rock her. We watch Christmas movies. We listen to Christmas music while she takes her bath. When she's all clean and snoozing I take out my trashy magazine and drink hot chocolate (this is now my go-to drink since I've stopped enjoying a glass a wine).

When I think about relaxing and slowing down, I'm always drawn to images of simpler times. Watching an old 1940's movie this morning had me inspired. It's nice to see a home that's filled with music and laughter and games and not the sounds of a blaring TV and people glued to their mobile devices. The characters were off to an evening Christmas dance and then enjoyed a leisurely sleigh ride home. A record was on and the characters were all enjoying the sound of talented voices, not audio-tuned pop stars.

I'm always drawn to the simplicity of things. I love cleaning out my house and getting rid of things I don't need. I really do enjoy those days when I don't turn on the TV or power up the computer and sit around listening to music. I like reading books by the light of our Christmas tree. I love the idea of saving money and not using shopping as a cure for boredom. Perhaps this is why I'm insistent on purchasing our daughter wooden toys made of simple design. I want her to have an imagination.

My life has changed for the better with the birth of Sadie and I find myself staying home more often, shopping far far less, and savings so much money. Who knew that the birth of a child would cause me to gain SO MUCH.

It's usually around this time of year that I start thinking about goals and resolutions for next year. The majority of my goals are centered around keeping life simple, learning to go without and saving a lot of money. I also want to make it a point to keep a photo album and not rely so much on the digital convenience of things.

So yes, my goals (again) for this year are be more simple, buy less and enjoy life more.

Tis the Season

2011-11-12T09:02:00.000-08:00

My favorite season it quickly approaching and I couldn't be more excited! Every evening I'm listening to Christmas music (thank you She & Him) and getting geared up to watch Christmas movies. I usually like to start the season off with The Nightmare Before Xmas, as it's one of my favorites. We recently downgraded our netflix account so I'll probably have to look into purchasing it this year.

The heats turned up and I'm snuggled on the couch with my little munchkin. We're watching lots of Harry Potter on ABC Family all the while searching the Internet for presents. My goal is to buy early and stay within my budget this year. Of course, I haven't really decided what that budget will be and both of my parents have birthdays in December which makes this month all the more expensive.

I have a feeling that the decorating process for Christmas this year is going to be scaled down quite a bit. I realized while taking down all of our Halloween decorations that it's far too much work with an infant. It looks like we'll just put the tree up this year.

Slow this train down...

2011-11-04T14:55:00.000-07:00

I’ve been back at work for two weeks and I feel like I’m on “go” and just can’t slow down. My intent was to make a slow transition back into my position, but the needs, or demands rather, of the facility have made my plans vanish into thin air. I’m still working an abbreviated schedule for the time being, but I’m trying to squeeze 50 hours of work into 32 hours. In the past I would have stayed late and worked until I was completely caught up. Now, I have to be out of there by 2:40 so that I can pick my munchkin up before 3:15pm. That means I’m getting to work around 6:20am to squeeze in some extra work time.

After I pick up little Sadie and we head home it’s usually snuggle and nursing time. The moment she’s down for a nap I’m cleaning the house, paying bills, balancing our checking account, making lists of things that we need to pick up, and doing tons and tons of laundry. On a side note, my house is driving me nuts because it never feels clean lately. I manage to get one or two rooms clean, but never the entire home clean all at once.

Sadie does her bath at 8:30. She has her night time nursing and Dave and spend a little time together chatting or watching a show on demand.

I’m to bed by 10pm and then up again at 4:30am.

I feel so anxious about everything I’m taking on at work. I feel so much pressure to show them that my new schedule is going to work well for everyone. I feel so much pressure about doing my job well. And then there’s home: I want to be a great mother to Sadie, I want her interest and needs to come first; I want to be good wife to be to Dave, and still make time for one another; and I need to plan this wedding.

Is it possible to be great at your job and great as a mother? I feel like I’m already loosing points on the great mother scale by having her at daycare for 5 hours day. Sigh.

In an effort to relax, Sadie and I have some candles burning (safely of course), I’m slowing down to enjoy my dinner, and we’re going to snuggle and watch some trashy TV. The rest of the house work can wait until later (when Dave comes home - I left him the bathroom to clean).

The need to clean

2011-10-27T15:28:00.000-07:00

I'm at this point right now where I just want to remove all additional clutter from my home. In order to achieve this, I want to (finally) organize our DVD collection, and weed through my book and CD collections.

Don't get me wrong. I love owning CD's and LOVE owning books (I hate owning DVDS because I think it's far simpler to just rent a movie when you want to watch it rather than own it) but these items just don't make sense to keep around when you have such limited space.

A few weeks ago I did an overhaul of my closet and condensed my clothing collection from two closets to one. Now as I purchase new clothes I'm asking myself if I'm really going to wear this item a lot and if I believe it's really worth the money I'm spending on it. Will it wash well? Will I get a lot of wear out of it? Is it an item that fits my personal style or am I just trying to follow a trend. I went through the same process with my shoes and was able to get my shoe collection down to just 12.

Once I'm able to clean out and de-clutter (this process also involves getting rid of silly knick knacks), I hope to re-organize our large walk in closet so that it can serve as a more functional storage space.

So much to do. Such big ideas. So little time.

It's ending.

2011-10-22T16:34:00.000-07:00

Maternity leave is over. Monday I return to work and Tuesday Sadie begins daycare. I'm trying not to think about going back. I know that everything will be okay and Sadie will be well cared for, I'm just not comfortable with the idea of being apart from her. I was planning to write more but my mind isn't in it and Sadie needs to be fed again.

I had better photos of Sadie and I, but unfortunately babies can't tell you when you still have spinach in your teeth.

Returning to Work

2011-10-18T14:24:00.000-07:00

I have less than a week left of maternity leave and I'm really dreading the return to work. I love spending everyday with Sadie and watching how much she's growing and changing. She smiles all the time now and seems to find everything we do to be very silly. This past week she's started verbalizing more and now makes sounds at us and will point to things and make silly baby sounds. I'm just in awe of how much she's grown and changed since her birth. It seems like everything is going very quickly and I hate to think I might miss something.

In preparation for my return to work I've done a little shopping and admittedly spent a lot more money on undergarments that will slim down my mid section and lift and separate my new chest. I've decided not to bother with the purchase of new pants because I just have another 7lbs to loose before I fit into my old pants again. Looks like I'll be wearing my maternity jeans until my old stuff fits.

Aside from the return to work I've managed to make a large dent in our wedding planning. We had the venue and the photographer and now we have bridesmaid dresses and invitations! Next on my list is to secure a wedding dress, flowers and cake! I'm getting very excited for our "big day"!

Halloween Decor

2011-10-03T19:10:00.000-07:00

I finally got around to putting up our Halloween decorations! I know, I know, it's about time! Usually I have them up around mid-September so that I can enjoy my skull garland for at least a month and a half, but this year was a little harder with a munchkin in tow.

When I have a moment new throw pillows are definetly on my "need to create" agenda.

Sure this isn't halloween decor but it's pretty cute huh?

Rustic Wedding Ideas..

2011-10-03T11:14:00.000-07:00

Now that little Sadie has arrived and we're adjusting to the new pleasures and pressures of parenthood, it's about time to really plan our wedding. We're getting married in a beautiful barn that serves as an event center. There's a fireplace, a large stage, twinkle lights along the upper level and candles on the beams.

In order to keep with the rustic feel that we love about the venue, I've been scouring the Internet for images that represents simplicity, class and rustic charm. I found a lot of these images on Pintrest and hope you enjoy them as well.

I really enjoy the use of canning jars, crisp white linens and burlap runners.

I think this is a gorgeous center piece. If our budget allowed, I would consider using a wine bottle with our photo and use that to label the tables. A treat for all of our guests, and a cute way to direct people to where they will be sitting.

I wish these flowers were going to be in season for our wedding. I really want twigs with flowers to be placed on the mantle of the fireplace and near the bar.

I love the mix and matched jars with ribbon detail.

I think I'm going to steal this idea. I love buntings. This one looks like it was made with scrap booking paper and twine.

I love this use of tulle. I'm considering doing something like this for the stage area. I also love the use of chalkboards to explain desserts.

And fresh rosemary lining the chairs.

Sprigs of lavender on tiny clothes pins to let people know what table they are assigned to.

Now I just need to ensure the dresses for myself and the bridesmaids fit this style of wedding and I need to settle on an idea so that we can begin collecting and creating what we need.

Smiles

2011-09-28T17:46:00.000-07:00

It's amazing to me that at 5 weeks (I can't believe she is 5 weeks old!) my little girl is smiling! Her smiles happen sporadically and sometimes need some prompting, but there is no questioning how adorable she is when she smiles. I'm glad that Dave happened to have his camera on him to capture her first smile.

I think I'm finally finding my stride with motherhood. I've managed to master the quickest shower. I have adapted my makeup routine to fit her mood, and my diet has adjusted to what she needs. Sadly, that means no chocolate, no cookies, low carb, lots of water and still, no wine. Ah well.

What doesn't seem to be adapting is my waistline, and my wardrobe. I'm hoping to loose my pregnancy weight by the time we have our wedding in March. So far I've dropped 26lbs, but I still have about 19 more to go (or more if I want to be below my pre-pregnancy weight). So I'm working on it, but until then I'm scouring the Internet for jeans, loose fitting tops, big scarves and bold accessories that will deflect from my larger mid section.

Le Sigh.

Fall Fever

2011-09-26T18:46:00.000-07:00

I love fall. It's quite possibly my favorite time of year. I love the cool crisp air, the leaves changing color, and the smell of wood stoves and camp fires while people hold onto the last cool evenings before winter hits.

After moving into my Condo 2 1/2 years ago, I resolved that would decorate for my favorite seasons. So far I've kept up with that promise to myself. So, once fall is here my collection of glittered skulls and skeleton garland comes out and our banister is decorated with branches, sunflowers, leaves and skull garland.

Usually I've done my decorating by now but with the addition of our new baby girl and the fact that my seasonal decorations are living in a storage unit a few miles from here, I haven't had a chance to display them.

Today Dave's going to resurrect my decorations while I care for Sadie and research the perfect recipe for apple crisp (gotta use up those apple's from our picking a few weeks ago!). Until then, I'm going to reflect up past Halloween decorations.

Apple Picking

2011-09-20T18:30:00.000-07:00

Dave and I took Sadie apple picking last weekend. Sure she's still a munchkin and won't remember the experience, but apple picking is something we enjoy doing and it was fun to share that with her. Being the complete dorks that we are, I dressed her up in a fleece pumpkin pj set with her little pumpkin hat. The get up only had her called a boy several times. It's amazing to me how people ascribe any color other than pink and purple to mean boy. The world has many colors, babies should wear them all!

Things are going well on the home front. I'm trying to figure out exactly what foods in my diet make Sadie happy and cranky, which is more difficult than it sounds. So far I believe I'm not allowed to eat chocolate or any sugary snack. And I'm thinking those yummy fiber one bars are also out of the mix. Ah well.

Lately I've been working on creating a list of baby items that I deem to be essential, or helpful. I'm also making a list of items that I feel are essential / helpful for breast feeding moms. When Sadie graces me with a long stretch of sleep and I'm caught up on laundry and house work I hope to make a post on this. Here's hoping I get to that this year.

& here's hoping i loose the additional 20lbs I need to get down to my pre-pregnancy weight.

Almost 3 weeks

2011-09-07T13:22:00.001-07:00

Little Sadie is almost 3 weeks old and I feel like we're finally starting to adjust to the routine and the responsibility of being parents.

Breast feeding is getting easier. I feel like I've almost got it all figured out and Sadie appears to be enjoying her meals more with less struggle and less tears.

Sleep is debatable. We're not sleeping much and little Sadie is sleeping well during the day, and typically sleeps well from 12am-9am. She wakes about every three hours for feeding. It's from 7pm-12am that she's wide awake and screaming. I'm hoping we figure out the cause soon.

All in all we're doing well and I have very little to discuss in writing that doesn't pertain to the color of poo and anything related to breast feeding.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Motherhood.

2011-08-31T09:03:00.000-07:00

Photo taken by Ashley Burgess of Bella Baby Photography

It's been 11 days since Sadie was born and Dave and I appear to be settling into a routine with her. She wakes, has her diaper changed, I feed her, she passes out. In the past few days there's been less of the passing out part and more of the very alert awareness. I, personally, feel she is the perfect baby. But then again, I am her mother.

Miss Sadie has been the first newborn I've ever held. She's also been the first diaper I've ever changed. We went into parenthood with my knowing very little about how to care of a baby, and Dave having far more knowledge than me. It's amazing how quickly you learn everything when you take a little peanut home.

In short, I'm exhausted, but elated. Sadie is by far the best thing that's ever happened in our life and I'm so grateful we have her. Sure I have no time to do my hair or apply make up. And yes, it takes us a lot longer to get ready in the morning and our home is in a constant state of disarray that's a bit challenging to keep up with. But it's all worth it.

Note: The hospital permits a photography service to visit all newborns and take photos. Ashley Burgess of Bella Baby Photography took several photos of Sadie that turned out so wonderful we ended up spending a bit of money on the CD with rights to all photos.

Shutterfly

2011-08-31T08:37:00.000-07:00

Photo Card

View the entire collection of cards.

Here's a preview of the birth announcements I just ordered. Oh, and by posting this I get $10 off my next order through Shutterfly. Don't judge, we have a newborn and can use any discount on photo prints we can get. Advertising aside, isn't she adorable!

It's a girl!!!!!!!!

2011-08-24T13:39:00.000-07:00

Sadie Elisabeth was born on August 20th at 11:22am. She weighed in at a (shocking) 5lbs and 14oz ! I'm completely in love and smitten by her. A proper update will come when I can tear myself away.

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Almost time..

2011-08-17T16:35:00.000-07:00

I haven't had a lot of time to take pictures and update my blog lately. The baby's arrival is quickly approaching so we're trying to get everything at home in order before the big day. I've had days where I have a ridiculous amount of energy and I'm cleaning like a mad woman, and then days where I'm having horrible pain and nausea and I'm stuck in bed most of the day.

Last week I decided it was time to listen to the pleas of my co-workers, and my own body and I've cut down to 32 (ish) hours a week at work. This means going from 4, 10 hour days to 4 8 hour days. Sadly I don't always feel super productive when I'm there, but thankfully I work with wonderful people that are very understanding and willing to overlook my sudden lack of productivity.

I think we're ready. The baby is due anytime between the 23rd & the 29th of August and it looks like we'll either hit that due date or the baby will come a little early. Everything seems to be progressing as it should and the doctor has estimated that our little munchkin is about 7- 7 1/2 pounds right now.

Our house is clean. The floors have been scrubbed. The baby's room is all ready and in order.
The bassinet is almost ready, whenever the rest of the bedding arrives.
All of the clothes and diapers have been washed and folded.
The baby's bag is packed.
My bag is packed.
We're ready.

We're SO ready.

Now we just need to decide on a baby name. Haha.

Come out already!

2011-08-10T14:11:00.000-07:00

I'm not even sure how to collect my thoughts and write a decent entry. Right now I feel like I'm slowly moving through each day, just waiting for this baby to arrive. I keep on getting signs and cues that it's arrival is any day now, but yet every day that passes I get more and more impatient.

I like to plan. I need to know what to expect. I do like surprises, but only those surprises that are within my control. For example, I love not knowing what I'm getting for Christmas and I'm really enjoying that we decided to keep our baby's gender a surprise until the end. I do not like walking into work and finding out that everything I had planned for that day isn't going to happen, and I don't like like spontaneous adventures when I had previously planned to do something else.

I like surprises that are within my control.

So here I sit, just waiting. I'm swollen. I'm huge. I can't bend. My body aches. The baby's kicks and turns hurt. While I'm day dreaming of meeting our little munchkin I'm also day dreaming of loosing all of this extra weight and getting back into my skinny jeans.

I could be doing more cleaning but I just feel too exhausted to do anything else. The cupboards will remain unscrubbed. The baby's room is going to stay in the condition that it's in because there's really no need for me to vacuum once more or re-organize the drawers again.

I'm growing impatient and I'm ready to hold the little one.

Come out all ready!

37 weeks

2011-08-07T14:42:00.000-07:00

37 weeks. Here's hoping the end is near. I've had a giant surge of energy this week and managed to get quite a lot done at work and at home. Surprisingly I feel so much better now than I did a few weeks ago. So our floors are mopped, are bathroom properly scrubbed, the kitchen clean and the baby's room is in order. All of the baby's things are packed and my things are are sitting in bags waiting to be packed.

Dave is making Mexican tonight and we've got a good netflix movie to watch in our bedroom with the A/C cranking. A nice relaxing evening before the hustle and bustle of a new work week.

Finishing the Nursery

2011-08-03T17:31:00.000-07:00

Last week I started my weekly appointments with my doctor until the baby is born. This week I got to experience my first cervical exam. Lets just say I'm really not looking forward to the exam next week- OUCH. Good news is things are progressing and the baby should be here soon. The doctor says 3 weeks soon, I'm hoping for 2 weeks soon.

After the appointment the reality that we're going to have a little one around the house in just a few weeks really began to set in and I decided it was time to put together all of the finishing touches to the Nursery and our home. So I put the rest of the liners in the dresser drawers, I re-organized some of the items we had laying around and I hung up the flowers that were used as decoration for my shower. I really love the way the nursery has turned out. To some it may be slightly feminine, but to me it's playful and whimsical and imaginative.

lazy sundays

2011-07-31T16:20:00.000-07:00

Today was a beautiful day. Some friends came up to visit today so we decided to check out the gardens at the local University, grab a bite to eat and do a little shopping at the bookstore (it's closing.. so sad). It was wonderful way to spend a lazy Sunday. I'd post more pictures of the gardens but blogger is being silly and rejecting some of my images. You'll just have to take my word for it, it's beautiful there.

I plan on spending the rest of the day drinking lots of water and keeping my feet kicked up. We took a bunch of pictures while out and I can't get over how BIG I am. Here's hoping the baby weight comes off quickly.

4 more weeks.

2011-07-30T17:35:00.000-07:00

Every now and then I'll splurge and purchase some flowers for our home. Usually I spend around $7 on them and they last a week, but I figure there are much worse things to spend $7 dollars on and having fresh flowers in our home is not only comforting, but wonderfully fragrant. I decided this week we'd get sunflowers and I'd place them in our little milk bottles. Milk bottles make far better vases than anything else I've found.

Last week I got the call that the high-chair my aunt & uncle purchased us as a baby shower gift was finally in! I ordered almost 8 weeks ago and was beginning to think it was never coming in. Dave and I had a bit of conflict about which high chair would be best- he wanted something from target that folded up and I wanted a sturdy piece of furniture that we could keep for a while and rest assure would last ages. Obviously he decided that I was right and we got this gorgeous number. I can't wait until our little munchkin is big enough to eat meals there.

It's been so hot and humid lately and I've been completely miserable in the weather. Most summers I welcome the heat and try to spend every possible weekend at the coast or immersed in a body of water. This summer started out okay but it seems that the further along I get in this pregnancy the less appealing a day on the hot sand by the ocean seems. For the first time EVER I refused a trip to the beach and opted to hang out at my parents air conditioned house.

Opting for my parents air conditioned home ended up being a pretty good decision. I was thoroughly complimented by some people at the gas station and told I looked "so pretty" several times (which quite frankly I NEEDED to hear because I feel like a messy blimp most days); I was able to see my brother and catch up with him; I saw my parents; and my grandparents decided to swing by as well.

It was nice to see everyone and hear how excited everyone else is for this little babies arrival. My pepere told me that he can't wait because he's going to "love that little baby". My memere is anxious for the babies arrival so that she can begin doing some serious shopping for gender specific clothing. And my mom took out a little box of various clothing items specific to a girl and a boy. So,whatever we end up having she'll be prepared (though I will say I saw far more girl outfits in that box than boy outfits).

I can't see my toes. My weight is still creeping up there. My supply of pregnancy clothing that fits is slowly dwindling as my legs won't stop expanding and my belly is growing more and more every day.

Dave and I spent and evening this week packing up clothes that we want our baby to wear home and getting a little collection of cloth diapers ready to bring with us to the hospital so that a nurse can give a good training on how to properly fold and diaper a baby. This reminds me, I really need to purchase some snappies or our diapers will be useless.

The baby's bouncer and swing have been assembled, as well as the stroller. The car seat is improperly installed at the moment but we plan on fixing that. I went shopping with my mom this week and my memere purchased me some nursing tank tops and a new pair of sweats to wear after the baby is born. It feels like we're almost ready.

I'm having weekly appointments now that are giving me practically no indication if this baby is going to arrive on time or be late. I guess I'll just have to be patient and wait. I'm hoping the baby shares both Dave's and I's affliction for arriving to events far too early. I know I'll be frustrated it I end up going past my due date. I have everything planned around this date. I really plan far too much.

Dave's garden is growing beautifully and in a few weeks we should have a hearty harvest of tomatoes, peppers, and zucchini to harvest. Our herb garden is out of control and we have no idea what we're going to do with all of the lemon basil, lemon thyme, parsley, dill and chamomile. I've tried giving it away, as has Dave, but no one seems to want any. What do you do with lemon basil anyway? How many recipes call for large amounts of parsley?

Well, Harry Potter is on TV again and of course I have no self control so I'm watching the movies again. I really need to purchase the books so that I can re-read the series rather than re-live it via the poorly made movies. They just leave out so much.

Baby Class Day 2

2011-07-24T16:20:00.000-07:00

There appears to be something wrong with my camera because every time I take a photo the pictures end up all blurry. Days like today I wish I knew more about cameras. I'm a point and click kinda girl and I have no idea how to take a beautiful, artsy photo. I guess I'll just leave that job up to Dave & my sister.

Today was day 2 of baby class and it went far better than yesterday. I suppose I enjoy learning more about how to care for the baby once it's here and less about how it plans on exiting. Dave and I have a lot to think about with choosing our hospital and writing our birth plan. Right now we're trying to decide if a calm, relaxing atmosphere with the availability of a tub is more ideal than being really close to home. I'm sure I'm putting far to much stress and emphasis on all of this and when the time comes we'll just have to go with the flow and let things take their course. This is what happens when you're a planner. You want to plan every detail of everything regardless of if it's in your control or not.

So we're at 35 weeks right now, 5 more weeks to go! I feel like the baby is dropping a bit because there's more heaviness in my groin area and less pain under my chest. I had a dream last night that we had the baby and everything went perfect and nothing was painful. Every time I have a dream about our little one it's always a boy. Guess we'll know if my dreams are right in 5 weeks!

And here I go again..

2011-07-23T18:42:00.000-07:00

Baby class is overwhelming. And of course when I feel overwhelmed I become irritable, cranky and usually I have to fight off tears. So, being at baby class and needed to get into uncomfortable birthing positions, and also be friendly with strangers is just far too much for me to handle. I'm introverted. I'm shy. I don't like eyes on me. I don't like being called on when I haven't raised my hand. I also really don't like people I don't know touching me and practicing massages. It's just uncomfortable.

Touring the birthing facility at the hospital where we're intending to give birth just made me more frustrated. The facility was not calming, not comfortable, and quite frankly it seemed dirty.

I wish I had just gotten a midwife and planned for a home birth. I don't see how I'm suppose to feel comfortable in the space they have provided for women to birth. It's small. Everything is old. There are no tubs. It's all circa 1970.

Is it so much to ask that I want Dave with me the whole time, I want to have a natural birth with no medical interventions. I want us to have our time with the baby and bond. I don't want visitors until I'm ready, which could be a few hours after or it could be a few days. At this point I would much prefer to have the baby and then tell people it happened a few days later. I just don't want to be overwhelmed by people. I don't want to compromise my needs and wishes to make other people happy.

I'm turning into a very grouchy, cranky pants the more and more I think about all of this. At least we only have one day of baby class. I have another baby appt this week. It's probably about the time I should tell my doctor about my idyllic birth plan.

Pressure Rising

2011-07-22T04:48:00.000-07:00

I really haven’t been updating my blog as frequently as I would like to. I blame this on how hectic and busy things have become. It seems that for the next few weekends Dave and I are completely booked up and I’m getting overwhelmed by our schedule, our lack of relaxation time, and lack of time to get all of the final things in order for our baby’s arrival. I keep on trying to write a to-do list so that I can feel organized about everything that needs to be done but once I begin writing things down I get more overwhelmed and end up trashing the paper.

This week I had my first breast feeding class and this weekend is filled with 10 hours of baby class spread out over two days. The breast feeding class was informative but left me feeling more anxious about everything. I like to plan. I like to know what to expect. I like things to go MY way. Coming to the realization that I have only partial control over the birthing process and when that will happen has made me a little anxious. I wish I just had a firm date when all of this would happen so that I’m not caught off guard. I love surprises, I’m excited to find out if our baby is a girl or a boy, but I don’t want to go into labor while I’m trying to finish a shift at work.

There feels like there is just so much to do around the house and it’s far too hot to get it all done. The baby’s room needs to be re-organized because we just don’t have enough space for everything at this time. But with the baby’s room on the top floor and no air conditioning in the window at this time, spending the few hours it would take to get everything in order just doesn’t seem feasible. It’s been excruciatingly hot.

So how do we balance getting everything done in time, and then still enjoy our summer with spontaneous trips to the beach? I’m not sure, but at this point a trip to the lake our beach wins out over cleaning and organizing the house.

34 weeks... 6 to go!

2011-07-16T18:02:00.000-07:00

We had our final, or what I believe to be our final, ultrasound this week. The ultrasound was done in the doctors office so we didn't get any great pictures like we were hoping for. In fact, the ones we got we can't even decipher what they're of. Good news is baby is head down, has long legs, and weighs close to 5lbs.

Everything seems to be going well and I'm getting more and more uncomfortable every day. The weather in Maine has been terrible hot and humid, which doesn't work out very well when you're carrying an extra 30lbs and your legs now rub together. As much as I didn't want to buy anymore maternity clothes I did buy two new dresses that work well for now and I expect they'll still work well even after the baby is born.

Baby classes start next week. The end is near. I know that once the baby is born we won't get much sleep at all, but I'm really looking to having what little sleep I do get not be painful. I'm so tired of the acid reflux, the heart burn, the nausea after I eat, and the constant back pain.

Deep Clean.

2011-07-13T14:15:00.000-07:00

The little apartment I owned in Bangor was a dive. I remember when I first looked at it and say "yes, I'll take it", I was quite certain I was a crazy person. The walls had nasty, random sheets of wallpaper hung. There were large holes in the walls and ceiling, and the rugs. Ugh, the rugs at that apartment were disgusting. Of course I fixed that little hole in the wall apartment up and it rented really quickly when I needed to move. One of the sad things I left behind for the poor tenant was some Ollie stained rugs. I scrubbed them often but nothing could get out the damage he had caused.

So when I moved into my condo I was adamant that I would eventually get the rugs all removed and have a laminate flooring installed.

Well that didn't happen.

What did happen was Ollie and his fickle incontinence issues wrecked havoc on our living room rugs. It was disgusting. I hated seeing the stains. I hate the smell. It made me want to burn my rugs every time I walked into my living room. Not to mention I just felt dirty having a rug so horribly stained.

See it's disgusting. This is only a small sample of what was all over our rugs. Some of it a product of the incontinence, others involved spills of beverages and kitty vomit. Ah the joys of pet ownership.

Above is the little culprit enjoying his handy work. GRRRR.

Below is the finished product. I had Penobscot Cleaning come over and clean the rugs. I was shocked by how quickly the were able to clean the living room, the hallway and the baby's room. It took them 30 minutes. They were professional and efficient and I'm very pleased with the results. I was also offered some priceless advice about removing animal stains from carpeting- never use HOT water. Always use cold because the hot water will merely set the stain into your carpet, making it more challenging to extract later on. They even provided me with some little booties to wear until the carpet dries and some stain remover for spot treatment. Oh, and did I mention they use green products?

The whole process cost $150 bucks, which is far cheaper than purchasing new flooring. I'm so happy with the results and I feel like my home is clean again. Another added perk - all of the furniture was moved out & around so once the floors dry I can re-arrange the living room!

And while the photos below have nothing to do with the rugs, I couldn't help but also share the healthy lunch I noshed on once the carpet cleaners left. What you see below is a tofurky,swiss & avocado sandwich with horseradish dressing on pumpernickel bread. I sprayed the bread with olive oil and put in the George Foreman for a few minutes so that everything was warm and crispy.

A little cherries and some pink lemonade helped to top off my meal. I enjoyed it and I know the baby definitely enjoyed it because this little munchkin hasn't stopped moving since I ate it.

Speaking of the little munchkin, we get another ultrasound tomorrow! I'm so excited to see more pictures and really hoping that our doctor doesn't spill the beans regarding our munchkins gender.

Hair's Everything!

2011-07-12T17:00:00.000-07:00

It is miserably hot in Maine. The heat and humidity has hit a new high and while I'm usually a fan of the warmer weather I'm finding it fairly unbearable in my current state. Thank goodness we have an air conditioner in one room of the house.

As my due date gets closer I continue to worry that the little things I enjoy doing for myself are going to become things of the past. I love getting my nails done, but sadly I expect I won't be able to get them done once the baby arrives. The cost seems a bit frivolous and I'm concerned about the up keep. I expect my last manicure will happen sometime this August.

I also love getting my hair cut and colored and my next appointment is at the end of this month. I'm not sure when I'll be able to get my hair done again once the baby is born so I want to ensure whatever I get done will last me a while. I'm thinking of having my hair dresser take me back to this dark rich red color with some peak-a-boo highlights. I'm also toying with the idea of cutting off a few more inches and going back to the bangs. Right now my hair is just SO long and even if I cut off a few inches they'll be back by the time the wedding comes. Below are a few pictures from last July's hair that I'd like to get back to.

A part of me is also thinking, maybe I could just get a rich dark brown color and then have violet peak-a-boo highlights. I probably shouldn't do anything to drastic, I expect I'm just in a pregnancy funk and because I feel like a giant pumpkin I want to have some part of me feel cute.

What do you think? Do you change your hair color when you need a little pick me up?

I have the best friends.

2011-07-10T13:21:00.000-07:00

No lake for me today, but I did get a surprise baby shower! It was wonderful to see all of my friends and I feel really greatful to have so many special people in my life. Thank you!!!

Stress.

2011-07-09T16:54:00.000-07:00

One would think that after taking 5 days off from work to relax, head to the beach, and venture to the theater a mere 3 days back at work wouldn't be so bad. It wasn't so bad for the first two days, but sadly the third day ended with a crisis and I'm feeling the need for another 5 days off.

Any bit of stress seems to get me to tense lately. I was barely an active participant with what went down (I appreciate my coworkers for thinking of my safety), but just the emotional drama of it all has left my back in knots, my body anxious, and I feel very unsettled.

Thankfully the Harry Potter Movies are on TV so I'm trying to get comfortable and relax, though nothing I try seems to be working.

I'm looking forward to to tomorrow. Dave and I will do a little shopping and then we have plans to head out to the lake. I NEED to just play in the water, soak in the sun and relax. If we had a pool here that's where I'd be at this moment. I just need to float weightlessly in a large body of water.

Summer is one of my favorite times of year and I really want to do all I can to enjoy this summer. There's only 7 more weeks until my due date, which means 7 more weeks of summer. I'm anxious to welcome our baby home but I don't want to wish my summer away.

mini-stay-cation

2011-07-06T18:28:00.000-07:00

I really really needed these 5 days off. It was so nice to just sit around and relax. I was able to get to the beach twice, which was much needed. There is nothing better than laying in the hot sun, listening to the tide come in, and then taking a few hours to allow the waves to pummel you. Getting pummeled by waves probably isn't my most brilliant idea while 8 months pregnant, and I can't say the experience wasn't a little (okay, sometimes a lot) terrifying, but it was well worth it. I'm hoping we have the opportunity to go again this year.

Here are few odds and ends from today. I sadly forgot to charge my camera and nothing to show for our other days.

Some new reading material.

My brilliant hot pink nails. I'll miss having acrylics when the baby comes.

An exhausted and overheated puppy.

An exhausted and overheated kitten.

My huge belly. I welcome the day when I can sit down and not have constant back pain.

To end our little mini-vacation / baby moon we ventured off to the theater and saw the new Transformers movie. It was this evening that I learned theater seats in Bangor are horribly uncomfortable, and it really is possible to get stuck in a restroom stall. The second was not my proudest moment, if it's challenging to get into the stall then it's going to be hard to get out. : Sigh :

32 weeks and growing..

2011-07-02T17:29:00.000-07:00

Only 8 more weeks until the baby comes!!! I feel huge! It's hard to believe I'm going to get bigger than this.

Start of BabyMoon.

2011-07-02T14:08:00.000-07:00

I had the great privilege of attending the beach again this week, this time with my sister. Poor Dave was stuck at work, as was her man, so it was a girls day out at the beach. We were joined by one of my sister's lovely co-workers.

There is nothing better than siting on the beach. I brought a book but barely picked it and spent most of the day running my mouth, staring at the ocean and watching these two young boys attempt to break a large chunk of driftwood. It was hilarious. They did eventually break the driftwood, which we (and another group of beach goers), all applauded them for.

Sadly my SPF 50 didn't work so well and my legs are bright red. Oh well, it was well worth it. We spent a good 4 hours there, and I expect we would have stayed longer had the tide not been in, and our legs and arms not glowing red.

I'm hoping I can con Dave into going again on Tuesday. There is nothing more fun that playing in the ocean, even if it does mean possibly getting taken out by a wave (not so fun when pregnant).

Perhaps next summer when I can use vacation time we can look at renting a cottage on the beach for a week. That would just be perfection.

Sand between your toes.

2011-06-29T07:54:00.000-07:00

Monday was the perfect beach day. The sky was clear, the wind was gently blowing a pleasant sea breeze, the tide was out (perfect for exploring), and the usually frigid ocean water wasn't frigid at all.

Going to the beach pregnant is definitely a different experience. I just could not get comfortable on the sand. Every time I tried to lay down I felt like my hips were locking up or going to pop out of socket. Eventually I just gave up on sunbathing and reading a book and opted to play in the ocean for the rest of the day. The water was cold, but perfect.

I've hit this point where I'm just exhausted and tired and ready to be done. I don't feel so cute anymore. I have cankles, my face is super round and now my feet are swelling. My fingers have even begun to swell a little. I have little energy for anything. At this moment I'm sitting on the couch, staring around the house and seeing a million things that need get done. I'd like to clean, I know I need to clean, but I just don't have the energy to do it. All I want to do is sit on the couch, watch trashy TV or read a book. That's where my motivation level is at this point.

I feel like I need to change up something. I want to exercise, I want to eat super healthy, and just feel good again. Perhaps I'm just bored right now. I feel like I'm waiting and waiting for this baby to come, for maternity leave to start, for the summer to be over, for my car to be paid off. I hate the waiting.

Maybe today is a good day to re-arrange the furniture.

Summer Lovin'

2011-06-26T13:59:00.000-07:00

I love lazy Sunday's and today has proven to be perfectly lazy. I woke up, made some coffee, laughed at Dave for stepping in dog poo (and proceeding to notice after it was all over the kitchen floor- hey, I warned him not to step in it), and watched GasLight. We did a little cleaning around the place and have since been laying on the couch for the remainder of the day.

Today also seemed like a good day to move around the furniture a bit, so I centered the couch along one wall and I love. The living room doesn't feel so empty anymore (we moved the glider into the nursery), and now I can enjoy watching the curtains billow in the breeze.

Dave's little garden is really growing well this year. The zucchini plants are out of control and it appears they should have been planted in a bigger space. I swear they doubled in size after yesterdays rain. I'm excited for all of the zucchini we'll have by the end of the summer. I plan on making zucchini bread, grilled zucchini and tons of stir frys.

My lavender is really taking off this year. The blooms just came in this week and look beautiful! Of course everything was far more stunning before we had a massive down pour with thunder showers, but I'm sure all of the plants will re cooperate once they have a few days of mild watering and sun.

We're all packed up for a trip to the beach tomorrow. I had to spend some of this afternoon going through my swim suits and trying to find something that fit and wouldn't be too offensive to other people on the beach. Thankfully my tankini bottoms still fit, and I have a bikini top that sorta fits. That paired with a tank top and should be okay. I thought about going out and getting a maternity suit but it doesn't seem like a wise investment at this time.

4th of July weekend Dave and I have a little "babymoon" planned. We both have Sun-Wednesday off (no vacation time needed! yay!) so we plan on doing a little traveling around Maine, eat some great fried seafood, and just relax. We haven't had a stretch of time off together in a quite sometime and I'm really looking forward it.

Crib!

2011-06-22T16:15:00.000-07:00

I love home made items. I especially love all of the wonderful home made items that are in our babies room. Now if only I could get my mom to sew me up some cloth diaper covers and a few sleeping sacks we'd be all set (hint, hint).

All of the artwork on the walls was made by myself, a family friend, and Dave (he made that adorable mirror). The quilt, lady bug blanket and bed sheet was made by my mom. At the moment Dave is trying to get me to use the left over material from the mobile to make a stuffed teddy bear, but I'm not even sure where to start with that project.

Bird Mobile- Complete

2011-06-20T13:52:00.000-07:00

I finished it! It's far from perfect but I'm pretty satisfied with the results. It's a little wonky (like 1/4 of inch on one side), an there are a few things I'd like to fix, but I'm very much over this project and like Dave said, it's home made, it shouldn't be perfect. If people comment on the imperfections I'll just tell them that ascribe to the sample philosophy as the Purtians, that only God can make things perfect so everything I create should be slightly damaged. Those who don't know me well might buy it.. hehe.

The nursery is coming together so beautifully!! I can't wait to hand this mobile in there, hang a few more pictures and then take a million photos.

Baby SHOWER!

2011-06-19T16:36:00.000-07:00

I had such a wonderful baby shower yesterday. I saw so many family members that I haven't seen in months, I got some amazing gifts for the baby and ate lots of really good food. Here's just a glimpse at the decorations and festivities. I got so many great gifts but this blog isn't big enough to share them all. Thank you to everyone that was a part of this special day. I had such a great great day and I'm still smiling about it.

I plan on using those flowers and the star garland in the nursery. I figure boy or girl will enjoy gazing at those brightly colored flowers hanging from the ceiling.

My big ol' bump. I was informed that I should wear more form fitting clothing so that people could more accurately guess the gender. Verdict was: I look like I'm caring a boy from the front and a girl from the back. Even the best guessers in the family were clueless.

Leave it to my mom to purchase a pj set intended for an 18 month old. I laughed so hard at this gift. I suppose in a year or so this little number will come in handy.

The quilt! I was most excited for this gift because I had NO idea what the colors would be or the design. I love it! It's birds. It's bright. It's gorgeous. We put it in the nursery last night and the whole room feels far more complete and cozy now. I also appreciate that my mom didn't have it machine stitched.

She also made us a fitted sheet, a nursing cover, little care bear bibs and some burping clothes. That paired with everything else we got (swing, tub, hygiene items, bouncer, clothes, sheets, high chair, dresser, etc!) I feel like we're ready to go!

My dad received a grandfathers gift. These were the books that his mother read to him as a child. There even inscribed by my Nana to my dad with the year and date.

We also got a great selection of books, most of which being my favorite childhood stories. Again, it was such a fun day and I really enjoyed begin around such great company and all of the wonderful generosity of friends and family. When Dave arrived home he promptly began washing all of the bedding, towels, and clothes and then proceeded to stay up until the wee hours putting everything away in it's proper place.

As the nursery gets closer and closer to being finished I have more and more anxiety about the birthing process, how I want it to be and how it will most likely be. I really wish I wasn't such a type A control freak. Life would be so much easier. I suppose I just need to relax and get through it.

NOTE: Obviously I didn't take these photos as you'll notice they're much better quality and the look a heck of a lot better than any photo I take. My sister Aimee played photographer and she does a pretty darn good job if you ask me.

& Soup for you!

2011-06-15T15:06:00.000-07:00

Lately the weather in Maine has been unseasonably cold. You would think that after a very long winter with snow storms lasting until mid April that we would get some reprieve from the dreariness with a little sun! But no, it's been rainy and cold and doesn't feel a bit like Summer.

Monday was one of those days that we considered turning the heat up but decided that making a warm bowl of soup might just do the trick. I threw together this cream of chicken soup on the fly with a few odds and ends that we had in the fridge. The recipe was was simple and the results were delicious!

I made a roux with 1/3 cup of butter and 1/3 cup of flour, ensuring to stir the roux over medium heat for about 4 minutes so that it was well blended.

Slowly add in 1/2 cup of half and half, and 2 cups of milk. While that's thickening I prepared some chicken stock with bouion cubes and then added 4 cups to the milk.

I added a dash of nutmeg, a bay leaf, and then a good serving of fresh parsley from the garden.

We had about 2-3 cups of left over roasted chicken that had been cubed and stored in the freezer so I added that in as well.

Then I tossed in some carrots and potato and let the soup simmer for 2 hours until it was boiling. About 20 minutes before serving I tossed in some frozen peas.

I feel like if the lighting was better, the bowl wasn't white, and my photography skills a little better this soup would look more appetizing. Just trust me, it was really yummy and primarily made using remnants of what we had left in the fridge. Our milk was about to go bad, we had some random bags of carrots, a spare potato and I had some leftover half and half. Oh, and the cubed chicken in the freezer had been in there for a few weeks and we didn't want that to go bad. It's fun to make a meal on the fly and use up bits of food in your fridge. I'd like to work on doing this more often. It's even more gratifying when your loved one tells you this is the BEST SOUP YOU'VE EVER MADE!

This photo has nothing to do with the soup, but does feature a very bored kitty that was hoping to sneak into daddy's work bag and take a ride. She's such a sweet kitty and reminds me every day that not all kitty's are alpha and aggressive, and not all kitties will try to hurt you.

Daycare dilema.

2011-06-13T12:06:00.000-07:00

I think you really don't know or fully understand what qualities you're looking for in a daycare provider until you begin setting up appointments and viewing locations. I knew that I wanted a place I was comfortable with. That was it. I wanted to walk into a facility and feel at home and comfortable. I wanted to know that my child would be in the best possible care at that location. I was looking for something clean. When I say clean I don't mean spotless, but I mean generally tidy and cared for.

We viewed our first potential provider this morning and I nearly wept when walking through the doors. The place was an older building and quite shabby. They didn't have any paperwork available for us as promised and we were taken through this maze of hallways to meet with the infant worker. In fact, in order to get to the infant room required us squeezing through a tiny door, walking through a bathroom and then finally into the infant room.

This room was not what I was hoping for. It was a very small room that was crowded with cribs, swings, and a highchair. The woman that cared for the infants was a kind woman, and I had no concerns about her, it was just the environment. The gave us a tour of the facility and children are moved into rooms based on ages. There were literally rooms that were gated off with minimal toys and children running around. The rugs were dirty, the walls need to be painted.

I wasn't impressed.

So on that note we left and both decided this was a daycare that would go into the "last possible resort" category. I felt deflated. Our child is due in 10 weeks and in two months from that we're going to need some kind of daycare set up. The only other option that was coming to my mind was this larger care center, but the cost for that is way over budget.

We tried to stick with our original plan of going shopping for baby decor but ended up leaving empty handed. We didn't get to do our afternoon date at the Olive Garden because the gift card was left at home and admittedly we were both exhausted. The day was feeling like a bust.

I'm not sleeping well at night because I can't find a comfortable position that doesn't hurt my back or cause my arms to not go numb. I'm also experiencing slight cramping every now and then which makes it challenging to just relax and sleep.

So after what felt like a pointless trip into town we headed back home. Dave then suggested that we stop in at the daycare down the road and pick up the info packet he had tried to pick up last week. I was feeling a bit like a grumpy pants and wanted to just admit defeat and have a pity party, theme being "no daycare ever for us".

But I didn't.

Dave had initially stopped by this place last week and the provider wasn't available at that time. He was nervous about the large dog and the overall first impression he received from the place.

Thankfully that first impression was wrong.

She is a lovely woman and I really really liked her facility. It's a home. It smells like a home. It's a bit disheveled but she openly admits that keeping a clean home is not priority number one for her. She much prefers to leave the floors unmopped for a day and the dishes unwashed after meals because she prefers to spend her time and energy on the children that she cares for.

I thought I wanted a sterile, clean environment when it comes to day care. Apparently I was wrong because the level of disorder and untidiness in her home didn't bother me at all. In fact, it partially reminded me of my home growing up. Overall things are clean, there's just some clutter.

I was okay with this. I was okay with this because it felt safe, secure, warm, inviting, and cozy.

She had a few children there when we stopped in and it was the opposite of the complete chaos we experienced at the previous providers. The kids were having quiet time and they were all quiet and relaxed on the couch or in a pack in play with a movie going.

The dog that so frightened Dave when he arrived the week before is a harmless dog that gets excited to see new people but is overly affectionate. She said the kids are able to climb on him and pull at his ears and he doesn't mind at all. I admittedly tugged his ears a few times just to be certain that he really is harmless.

The backyard was tidy (though it doesn't look that way from the road), and she showed us a little herb and veggie garden that the kids work on in the summer.

I feel like we found our place. Its not terribly expensive. It's a beautiful old farm house that smells and feels like home. The provider is kind and has a lot of great experience working with children of all needs. She's calm, attentive, and I like the structure that each day has, as well as her policy on discipline. She also empathized with us on the business of finding a daycare and how much she struggled with it herself after having her son.

The only sticker is that we can't reserve a spot. It's first come, first serve and we'll have to be in constant contact with her to let her know that we are interested and really want a spot. This is the part where we'll have to just be hopeful and cross our fingers everything works out okay.

The view around here

2011-06-12T14:09:00.000-07:00

Today has been one of those gloomy, rainy days. I've barely moved from the couch, I've had numerous iced beverages, read a little bit of a book I'm desperately trying to finish up, and finally I started laundry. It's been a very very lazy day. You may have noticed that I spent some of today updated the look of my blog a little bit. I think that is the only thing I've really gotten accomplished today.

I love this glass jar garland. I purchased it in Camden last summer and never got around to hanging it until this year. Ideally you should have little flowers in each vase, but I think the changing the water in each vase would be far to tedious so I've decided that keeping it simple and without is better.

Dave went grocery shopping and purchased a ton of fresh fruit. I've already eaten some of it. Nothing better than a good nectarine!

I bought this amaryllis around thanksgiving and it finally bloomed in January. After it bloomed I hacked the stem off and stuck in the back of a closet. Then a few months later when I was cleaning out the closet I noticed it was growing again. Crazy plant.

Lil Ollie always looks so scared!

Dave moved the glider upstairs today and the baby room looks so cute! I was going to make a new slip cover for the glider but I've decided to just keep the cover that's on it right now. We have so much color going on in the room that a little neutral won't hurt things.

Dave was so cute this morning. He decided that we HAD to have a little rug for out front of the crib. He said that every other nursery he's seen has had a little rug out front of the crib so it must be important. He found this little rug at baby depot. It's cute. I didn't really want a theme in our baby's room but I feel like we're having this balance between home-made nursery whimsy and jungle. So far it all seems to go together well and I'm pleased with the results.

What I'm not pleased with is that Izzie seems to think that the baby's room is her room, and now that a blanket has made it's way into the crib we can't keep her out. I'm not impressed and I think we're going to need a bigger gate for the room. Ugh.

Brief update..

2011-06-12T09:31:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow is the day I've been partially excited for, and dreading.

We're looking at a daycare.

Just saying it makes it real. It's been hard for me to come to terms with the reality that our child is going to be in day care at about 8-10 weeks old. I hate it, but we have no other options so it's something that I'm going to need to get comfortable with.

My biggest fear at this point is that I won't like this particular daycare. If I don't like it or Dave doesn't like it, I'm not sure what we're going to do as we've exhausted all other options for this area.

We have some plans for after the daycare viewing. We plan to do a little baby supply shopping (specifically baby room decor), a nice lunch at the O.G (Olive Garden.. we have a gift card), and then spend the evening finishing up details in the baby's room.

I have my baby shower next weekend and I'm really excited for it. I was thinking back and it's been YEARS since I've had any kind of a party with presents.. so I can't wait to eat cake and see all of my friends and family!

There's no excuse...

2011-06-08T16:37:00.000-07:00

I wanted to write today, and I've gone back and forth on what I would write about. Would I write how I'm feeling, or would I post something silly and materialistic and act like I'm happy. Well, I won't be posting anything materialistic or silly, so you're going to get the real deal.

Every now and then something happens in a community that leaves people shaken and disturbed.

Monday evening a woman was gunned down by her husband on the street where I used to play with friends, ride my bike, and sell lemonade. He shot her several times on that street and she died on a neighbors front lawn.

While I'm very closely tied to the neighborhood it happened in, I don't know the woman. I do know her name was Sarah. She was 30 years old. She was a mother.

Since I read the story and have heard the details I can't stop thinking about it. I'm sad. I'm angry. I want to do something.

Right after I graduated from college I was employed as a Community Educator for a Domestic Violence Project. My job after that was as an Advocacy Coordinator for another Domestic Violence. I've spent many hours training professionals how to identify domestic violence and how they can help. I've spent more hours answering phone calls at all hours of the day from women that are in need help, guidance, and mostly someone that will listen.

So, what I'd like to do right now is tell anyone that reads this blog what they can do to help someone that is in an abusive relationship.

LISTEN. You don't need to have answers, you don't need to give advice- in fact don't. Just listen.

OFFER HELP. You can say, what you are telling me sounds like abuse. Would you like to borrow my phone and call a domestic violence project. Your call is confidential and they'll be able to help you plan for your safety. Offering someone a safe, quiet, confidential space to make this call can be helpful.

FOLLOW UP. If someone has reached out to you, don't forget about in a week or so. Check in, see how their doing. Support them through this process and help link them to the appropriate resources.

Many people have said, if you're being abused you should just leave. It's important to note that leaving is the MOST dangerous time. In fact most domestic violence murders occur when the woman is in the process of leaving, or has left the relationship. Leaving an abusive relationship takes a lot of strength and courage and should never be looked at as an easy solution.

For more information on Domestic Violence, please visit http://www.thehotline.org . You can also call 1.800.799.SAFE in order to reach a local domestic violence agency in your area. If you know someone that is being abused you can call the hotline yourself and speak with an advocate who will offer you support and resources to help.

It's coming together...

2011-06-05T10:58:00.000-07:00

The baby's room is really starting to come together! Dave put together the crib last night, and in the process was a little concerned by how easy it was to assemble, and how few screws actually hold it together. I can hardly wait to put sheets on the bed and begin putting blankets down. I have several blankets & sheets on our registry so it's really a matter of me being patient for another two weeks.

After the crib was assembled I hung some pictures & the bunting. I like how the room is coming together. It's neutral, home made, and really cozy (in my opinion). Now I just need to get Dave to take down the pack n' play (I want to store it until we need it, he wants to keep it out ... at this point we can't agree) and move the glider upstairs. Movement of the glider most likely will not happen today because Dave's busy getting his hands dirty working on our neighbors garden.

I've been trying to spend most of the day outside but it's hard with so many bugs around. If it's not black flies eating me up it's hornets buzzing by my ears. Did I mention I'm not a huge fan of the outdoors? I try, probably more so now than I did before, but I really really hate bugs. Yuck. While sitting outside today I had to listen to some random animal running through the woods and it was freaking me out! I kept telling myself it was just a squirrel but who knows what it was. I've seen bunnies, fox, turkey, raccoon; I've heard stories of the coyotes. Ughhh. Living in a moderatly wooded area sounds so nice and comforting, until you actually do it. I think I'm a city girl at heart.

Dave telling me that he saw this:

On our door last night really doesn't help. He actually almost squished it because he went for the door handle and noticed this lovely beast a mere two seconds before his hand went down. I think it's a Lunar Moth but I'm not entirely sure. Anyone have any clue as to what this green monster is?

Perhaps I'll just stay inside the rest of the day, sip lemonade and read my book. It's safer inside.

Early Baby Shower Gifts!

2011-06-04T15:41:00.000-07:00

So far we've gotten the dresser ( a gift from my VERY generous Memere & Pepere), the crib & mattress (a gift from my VERY generous parents), and we have this adorable Windsor high chair on order that should arrive in a few weeks (a gift from my VERY generous Aunt Linda & Uncle Don).

The more baby items we get the more excited I get for the big day. Tomorrow Dave is going to spend most of the day (I assume) assembling the crib and I hope to do a little shopping for picture frames and maternity underwear (my rear side has exploded).

I'm hoping that by the end of the day tomorrow we'll have most of the baby's room together and organized in a meaningful way so that I can take pictures. We'll still be missing the changing pad, the crib bedding, and other odds and ends that are listed on our registry, but you'll get the idea.

Annie decided to be moderately social before my parents left, so I thought I'd snap a picture of her. As you can see she wasn't going to have that. Poor old kitty.

Little Izzie likes to guard bedroom doors. She's so cute and so little!

My belly is very full with baby and Olive Garden so I think I may just grab a hot pack and relax on the couch for the rest of the evening. I feel like I got little accomplished today but I have to remind myself: I cleaned the house, I grocery shopped, I read a little, and I got to spend time with parents.

Hail Storm.

2011-06-01T13:26:00.000-07:00

I woke up early this morning because the baby was bouncing on my bladder and I wasn't getting a very restful sleep anyway. Rising early gave me an opportunity to pick up the house a little and make some coffee. Some of you may want to tisk tisk a pregnant woman for drinking coffee, but I'd like to note the doctor says anything in moderation is fine and I drink about half of that cup and then I'm done. It's not so much the coffee taste that I enjoy, but the smell of it brewing and the relaxing on the couch while taking small sips.

When woke early, the sun was shinning, the air was hot, and I was really looking forward to having a nice, quiet day at home that would involve books, sunshine and lots of nothing.

Maine weather had other plans.

Around 9:45am the thunder that I had been hearing off in the distance approached our home and we had a loud, thunder and lightening storm with lots of hail. Thankfully our animals aren't phased by these storms. I, on the other hand, am. Just a little. Just enough that sometimes they freak me out, and other times I'm fine.

Thankfully the storm ended a little over an hour later.

I got some of what I wanted accomplished. I ventured out and purchased a veggie sub & lemonade from my favorite market. I diligently worked on the baby's mobile. I attempted to nap. I sent numerous text messages to Dave about all of the pain I'm in and how much I hate being pregnant. All in all a very successful day off.

The mobile still needs some work but I'm at a loss of what do do next. I have some ideas but I believe I'll need a hot glue gun in order to execute them. Either way I have plenty of time.

Acadia

2011-05-30T06:16:00.000-07:00

Another sunny day! I'm so excited! We woke up to noticeable signs of rainfall but thankfully all of the storming happened while we were sleeping and the sun is out and shinning today.

This means we can take a trip out to Bar Harbor / Acadia, one of our favorite places to go. Our yearly pass expires on June 1st so it makes sense to take one more trip out there before we need to spend $40 on another one ($40 is a great deal because we head out to Acadia pretty often in the summer).

I'm hoping that we can sit on the beach, visit Jordan or Bubble Pond, maybe walk along a few of the trails and then hit up the shops down town. If our restaurant is open, we hope to stop in there a little after 4pm to enjoy the all you can eat mussels at the salad bar, some blueberry soda and whatever else strikes our fancy.

Acadia / Bar Harbor is gorgeous. Here are some photos from past visits so you can see what I'm talking about.

Summer is just around the corner.

2011-05-29T14:26:00.000-07:00

The forecast called for thunder showers but we were surprised with glowing sunshine most of the day. There were a few moments when the air would cool and the sky would darken, but not once did the sky rain on our day.

Thank goodness it was a sunny day because Dave woke up super early so that he could purchase his gardening needs and get an early start on fixing the mess that was our cute garden. The association had the half dead bushes pulled from our lawn, and decided to do this after the landscaping company had re-mulched everything. It looked awful. We're glad that dead bush is gone because all it did was serve as a home for mice, birds and other critters all the while taking up a good chunk of potential gardening real estate.

So while Dave went off to buy his supplies I decided I would begin tackling some of the chores that had gone neglected during the week.

Then I stepped in dog pee on the carpet.

Then after cleaning up said dog pee on the carpet I find that one of our kitties cleaned their dirty bum on the carpet and dining room floor. At this point I cried, texted Dave to come home, cursed our animals and told them all how much I hated them, and proceeded to pile myself onto the couch with blueberry muffins and some coffee in an effort to regroup. All of the animals came and snuggled, I guess that's there way of apologizing. It'd be nicer if they didn't do things that they had to apologize for in the first place.

I got over it. I love them all again. It just wasn't the start to my Sunday that I was looking for at 9am.

When Dave got back he assisted me in cleaning the kitty mess, took Ollie outside, and began working on the garden. You'll have to excuse the ridiculous amount of photos of my dog but he was looking far to adorable today. Ollie loves playing outside so spending more than half the day laying in the grass while eating bugs has made him a happy boy. Hopefully all of this outdoor time today will remind him of where he's suppose to pee.

Izzie wanted to come outside too but she's an indoor kitty and not allowed. So she sat in the window the whole time, watching, and meowing.

There's Dave working in the garden. Our property is primarily ledge and when we tried growing tomato's in this spot last year they barely grew and appeared dwarfed. This year Dave tried to build up the bed with top soil and manure. Here's hoping it works because I want lots of tomato's this year!

The mess before he fixed it. Please note I had nothing to do with this garden (aside from selecting flowers). I don't have a green thumb, I don't like bugs, and I'm a huge fan of getting dirty. So while I make the inside of the house beautiful, Dave makes the outside beautiful.

This isn't even considered "our" property, but Dave asked if he could plant things there and they said yes. So, there we have brussel sprouts (my fav!), cucumbers, squash and some pepper plants. I was worried he had planted too much in one small space but he assures me that it'll all grow fine. I don't remember what he planted in the hanging basket.

I don't know where Annie was during my picture taking. She was hanging around the window for a while and then she just disappeared.

The former association President said our sidewalk was fine and didn't need repairs... ehh.. yeah.

He was so happy to be outside. I tried bringing him in so that I could take a nap and he was having none of that.

Some flowers, peppers, zucchini and tomato's. Strawberries are growing in the potted plant.

I think it came out great. We ended up spending the afternoon sitting in camp chairs, sipping beverages and chatting. I did finally get around to cleaning the house, vacuuming, folding laundry and starting another load of laundry. Everything seems to be in order.

All of this gardening and outdoor time got Dave talking about how he wanted a grill. I dismissed the comment because he's been saying he's wanted a grill since last summer and he never got one because we just don't have the space.

After a brief conversation about what we would have for dinner, off Dave went to the grocery store and back he came with dinner and a grill.

There's something very nostalgic about the smell of charcoal burning. Summer is finally here. I'm hoping tomorrow turns out to be just as beautiful so that we can head up to Bar Harbor for the day, walk around Acadia and enjoy the beach.

Happy Memorial Day Weekend.

Weekend!

2011-05-27T16:24:00.000-07:00

I'm so glad that this work week is almost over! Usually work a 4 day week, this week I was there 6 days! I have a quick 8 hour shift to work tomorrow and then I can finally sleep and relax for the weekend.

One of my co-workers is having a baby shower tomorrow so I went out picked her up some adorable newborn dresses. She's going to end up having a very tiny baby (at least this is what her doctor says), so I think a newborn dress is highly appropriate. I on the other hand, appear to be growing baby Shrek, but that's another story.

Purchasing little girl dresses had me really wanting a little girl. I've pretty much convinced myself we're having a boy as that's what everyone has been guessing. Either way I know I'll be happy and adore our little one, but I can't help but want a girl. Buying flower headbands and little dresses is so much fun!

26 weeks 5 days ... and counting..

2011-05-25T14:52:00.000-07:00

It's been several days since we've seen the sun in Maine. With everything going on around the country, a little lack of sunlight really isn't too awful. The constant rain and cloudy sky can begin to wear on a person though.

When I woke up this morning and saw that the sun was out I was ecstatic! All of the windows in our home were opened and it was nice to feel the warmth of the sunlight and the cool spring breeze making its way through our home. Had I not been scheduled to attend a 4 hour staff meeting I would have gladly spent the day sitting outside and soaking in the Vitamin D. Jobs and responsibilities really do get in the way sometimes.

With the sun finally out it felt like the perfect time to wear one of my new dresses. I was lucky enough to score this number on the clearance rack in the Junior's section. The top portion of the dress does feel a little X-rated with the large "rack" I'm sporting now. I was able to throw a cami on underneath and paired it with a little sweater so that it was more appropriate for work.

I can't get over how big I'M getting. It's not just my belly, it's all of me. When I walk towards any reflective surface I really don't recognize myself. Everything appears to be growing at record speed. For gosh sakes I need to purchase new underwear because my behind is just far to large to be contained in the pairs I have now.

I had this dream last night that I gave birth to our child and miraculously lost all of the baby weight and then some in moments after the birth. I felt like my old self again. Realistically I probably won't have my old body back for some time after the birth of our child and I imagine it's going to be a bit of an effort to get it back how I want it to be. It was a good dream though.

June 13th Dave and I have an appointment with a childcare provider in the area. Just thinking about doing daycare has made me sick. I cry when I look for places and then I tear up after I have conversations with potential providers. I wish that we lived closer to family and could utilize our natural supports to care for our child. I wonder a lot about how I'm going to feel when I go back to work. How I'm going to balance being a good mother and good employee. I tend to be a bit hard on myself and I strive for perfection, so I wonder how I will still hold myself to those standards and find balance. I guess I won't know until it happens.

As my mind has been swimming with thoughts of Daycare and needing to rely on others to care for our child so that we can still bring home the same paychecks were are right now, Ms.Aura happened to write a lovely blog post that was exactly what I needed to read at exactly the right time. Sometimes it does take a village to raise a child, and while my village may not include my immediate family, it will be people that I feel comfortable with and trust, and they will teach my child things that will help them to grow. It'll be okay, and we'll get through it.

Sucessful Day 2 !

2011-05-22T13:06:00.000-07:00

Yesterday didn't feel like a very productive sewing day. It took me forever to cut out all of those birds and then I needed to create a pattern for the bunting, and cutting those out took a while because I don't own a cutting mat. I ended up scissor cutting everything.

Half way through the day I ended up taking a two hour nap. Sewing is exhausting.

When I went to sit down and begin sewing the little pennants for the bunting my sewing machine ran out of bobbin thread. It wouldn't have been so horrible had I remembered how to wind a bobbin on this machine. Needless to say something went wrong and my machine kept on getting jammed up on thread.

I decided it was best to quit while I was ahead.

This morning I remembered how to wind the bobbin correctly and was able to finish the bunting project (with a few hiccups of course).

Either way I'm pretty satisfied with the finished product. I think they'll look adorable above the crib.

I'm pretty happy with my progress.

I decided to give it another go with the birds. After looking at other people's completed projects with this pattern (it's by Spool), I realized that mine weren't turning out as awful as I thought. So while watching the beginnings of a Harry Potter Movie Marathon on ABC Family, I began stuffing the rest of my birds and sewing their little tails shut.

I'm trying to decide if I should leave them as is or if I should make a little pattern for wings and add those to the design. I'm thinking of just hanging them from an embroidery hoop. Initially I was going to hang them from a grapevine wreath but Dave didn't think that was the best idea. Aesthetically I think a grapevine wreath would look better, but safety wise It's probably best to go with an embroidery hoop.

Moral of this weekend: I need to use my sewing machine more often.

Bird Mobile FAIL

2011-05-21T10:56:00.000-07:00

I spent most of this morning ironing fabric, cutting out about 12 little birds and then painfully sewing only two together.

I'm not impressed with the final product.

My second bird came out better than the first but I'm not sure I want to keep on practicing. I think it's time to go back to the drawing board and pick out a new pattern.

Maybe I can just sew together the belly's and make some fish?

Guess I should have started with the bunting first.

And it keeps on coming...

2011-05-19T17:09:00.000-07:00

So after my post yesterday I assumed I would just retreat to bed, hide under the covers and sleep away the rest of the day while listening to a little Jack Johnson, Sara Barielles, Adele and Ben Harper. Unbeknown to me those covers I wished to hide under were soaked in dog pee.

Yep. My fabulous dog decided that my day wasn't going bad enough, and he wanted to top it.

Thankfully my fiance is a calm soul that can deal with any problem while I'm crying hysterically and swearing I'm going give away my dog or just leave him outside forever so that he realizes THAT's where it's okay to pee.

Dave stayed up late washing all of our bedding and ensuring that the quilts made it safety out of the wash, while I stayed up sobbing until I couldn't cry anymore and just passed out from exhaustion.

I was hoping today would go off on a better note but that didn't prove to be the case. Everything I had planned didn't happen. Technology that should be functioning just stopped. Amazingly I did have a very productive day considering every possible glitch and hiccup was thrown my way. Perhaps I work best under pressure? I even managed to do a quick cleaning of the house when I got home.

Bad days happen. And while these past few days haven't been too terrible (I mean, I've had worse), they do then to throw me for a loop. In order to keep positive and look on the bright side of things I think it's important to look at the positives in life

I work a 10 hour day tomorrow but I get to leave work at 5pm- An Early night!

I don't have to work this Saturday

I have a stack of really pretty fabrics to play with this weekend and I can begin working on the bird mobile & bunting for the wall.

All of my pets are healthy aside from their incontinence issues

I didn't gain a gross amount of weight this month and the doctor told me I've got great skin as I don't have belly stretch marks yet (I told him wait until next month).

When days are horrible, my coworkers will laugh it off with me and sometimes the inmates will make me a special lunch to cheer me up.

I am going to be marrying the nicest, kindest person ever. He's so calm and he never gets upset when I freak out. I'm certain he's going to be an amazing father and I know he'll keep me sane through the sleepless nights and constant cries from our infant. He also goes above and beyond to make me smile and laugh.

I got to listen to some of the Lynyrd Skynyrd concert on the way home from work (they sound really great live)

There's more but I'll stop there. Sometimes it just helps to stop and remember that even if things aren't going well, it could always be worse and there is always something to be thankful for. And perhaps I'll just enter that "bad day" contest the local radio station is having so that I can win tickets to the Jeff Dunham concert.

Tired.

2011-05-18T14:32:00.000-07:00

Do you have one of those days when your just exhausted and nothing feels right? Today seems to be the day I've hit my breaking point.

Our home is in a bit of disaray from the past few days that we haven't picked up and I just don't have the energy to deal with it. I can't relax in a dirty house so I keep on pushing myself to pick up things and clean but then I get more and more frustrated, and exhausted. Finally the tears come and I just give up.

I'm hungry for foods like banana's and strawberries, and sadly none of those are in our home right now.

So, I guess today I just give up. I put on my nightgown. I'm cuddling under a blanket. I'm watching trashy tv and I'm fighting the urge to take a nap.

bleh.

It's getting there...

2011-05-17T16:09:00.000-07:00

The dresser was dropped off yesterday and has settled nicely into the baby's room. I love this dresser even more every day I look at it. The craftsmanship is exceptional and I'm pleased that we went with such a sturdy piece of furniture that was handcrafted in my home town.

I spent most of yesterday working on some artwork for the walls. Dave went out and purchased a few wooden animals that I plan on incorporating into a little bunting for the wall. Tomorrow involves lots of fabric & frames shopping, some sewing, a little folding and putting away of our little ones clothes, and possibly a nap.

I've been so exhausted lately and the 10 hour work days are really draining. Thank goodness I have 3 days off a week to relax and work on our home. I can't imagine how I would get everything done otherwise.

I have a few more sketches to finish tonight and tomorrow and then I'll decide which ones will make the cut and be placed on the walls.

lights, rain & laziness

2011-05-16T06:19:00.000-07:00

When ever we're expecting company Dave laughs at me and says that I "stage" our home for guests. What he's referring to is the cleaning, the pillow fluffing and the lighting of little lamps around our home. Yesterday was no different. We were expecting company so I was running around cleaning counters, folding laundry, making the bed, and turning on lamps so that our home didn't look like a dark cave.

Sundays are probably my favorite day of the week. Saturdays are usually spent working or cleaning up around the house, but Sundays have always been a lazy day or a day in which we make plans to do something fun together. Sundays are also the day of big breakfasts, not turning the TV on until well afternoon noon time and just enjoying the silence.

The sun is still hiding out around Maine and it looks like it's going to stay that way for the rest of the week. For once I'm actually not dreading the rain. It's kinda nice to have lamps on during the day and lay around doing lazy things because the weather just compels you to do nothing.

Baby's growing- 25 Weeks

2011-05-15T12:54:00.000-07:00

We're at 25 weeks right now. According the books our baby is 1 1/2 pounds and 9 inches in length. I'm guessing our baby is probably closer to 2lbs right now, because last ultrasound we were ahead of schedule weight wise.

Our little one kicks and punches a lot more these days. Last night I believe I experienced it's first somersault. It's just wiggle, wiggle, kick, kick all the time. Sometimes I just stare at my belly and watch the little bounces and jabs.

Much to my chagrin, my butt is a lot bigger, my thighs are a thundering, and I feel so uncomfortable with this new body. I'm thinking a little shopping spree is in order. My few maternity tank tops are getting a little old, and there's only so many different cardigan type sweaters I can throw over them.

Stretch marks are slowly appearing on my sides and slowly making there way towards my tattoo! My belly button is still intact though and my belly itself is showing no signs of the purplish lines.

(For the record, I always have a crooked part)

We took ourselves to the slot's today. I did well for the first 5 minutes- I almost tripled my $5 gamble. I really should have stopped while I was ahead because I ended up leaving Dave in the hole $15 dollars. Oops. It was fun though!

I cant wait to get the dresser delivered tomorrow and then hopefully purchase some canvas and begin working on the artwork for the room. I've done a few sketches of what I'd like to paint but I'm not sure if I'll be able to paint the image as well as I can sketch it. Guess I'll have to just try and see.

I know nothing..

2011-05-13T16:13:00.001-07:00

I've been saying for the past few weeks that I'm completely clueless when it comes to what to do and what to get for our baby. This fact was further intensified after we went to target last weekend to build our registry. I was so overwhelmed and so confused. In fact I almost broke down in tears because I realized I have no clue.

When I was trying to figure out what type of cloth diaper to use (bum genius, fuzzi buns, etc) I became so frustrated that I decided to just call the store that was selling them and ask them what they recommend I purchase / put on my registry.

Making that call was the best thing I ever did.

The woman I spoke with at Maine Cloth Diaper Company was incredibly helpful and I feel like I have a huge weight lifted off my shoulders. She told me what package of cloth diapers I should get and told me where to go on You Tube to find videos of how to use the diapers (she recommended the pre-folds). I was so relieved. Apparently the pocket diapers are really for later on and it's a lot easier to just do the basic pre-folds with an infant and then work up to those once you figure out your baby's needs.

After getting the big diaper conundrum solved, I decided to unleash by biggest, burning question to the fabulous woman on the phone

What are the "must haves" for a baby? What should I be putting on my registry and what should I just leave off?

I'm going to share her wisdom.

Diapers

Open ended nightgowns

Bathcare for sensitive skin

Cloth diaper approved ointment (for baby's bottom)

Wet Bags (for cloth diapers)

Good receiving blankets. She specifically recommended Aden & Anais

Bath Towel / Face Clothes. Specifically those made by Aden & Anais

Wipes

Lanolin cream (if you plan to breast feed)

Nursing tank tops that have a bra built in

Baby Carriers - specifically the moby wrap & Ergo carrier with an infant insert

So I went and adjusted our entire registry. I ended up using their company's website to create a second registry with more of the better quality baby items. Target also sells Aden & Anais items but from what I've read of the reviews the fabric isn't the same quality and your better off spending the extra $10 on the branding NOT designed for Target.

Now I've been researching some of the bigger items that we put on the registry and it looks like we didn't do that horrible of a job because some of our bigger items are safe & recommended.

Now I just need to read that breast feeding book!

It's coming along

2011-05-11T17:19:00.000-07:00

Things in the nursery are finally coming along. I spent most of this evening cleaning out all of the odds and ends from the nursery and just left baby items in the room. Putting the room together and arranging what little furniture that's in there in the places where I want it to be has gotten me even more and more excited for our little baby to arrive. I can't wait to purchase some canvas and begin painting the artwork for the room.

I plan on spending what's left of this evening relaxing, eating dinner (finally!) and reading some of my favorite blogs. I really can't wait until I have one Wednesday off where I don't have to do any cleaning, rearranging or errand running. I want a nice warm day where I can sit outside by the garden, read a book and sip on some sparkling lemonade (my new guilty pleasure).

Are you my mother?

2011-05-10T16:04:00.000-07:00

I've been watching far too much house hunters international lately. The ones I find I'm enjoying the most are the cute British families that decide they are going to move to France and live a slower pace. The show itself has really drawn me to Brittany, France and I do find myself day dreaming about some day living in a quaint little stone house on the french country side. I love the stonework, the wood floors, the simple, rustic feel of those homes. They're just lovely. Perhaps when I have a moment or two I'll search for photos of homes and do a little inspirational picture post.

I seem to be reaching that point in my pregnancy where I'm constantly uncomfortable. Working 10+ hour days at work so that I can have a four day week is really wearing on me. I know I could easily go to five 8 hour days but I just can't see myself giving up that extra day off during the week. I have a feeling I'm going to head into work on Thursday equipped with a lumbar pillow, a regular pillow and some heating pads. The back pain is awful and now I'm having moments where I feel physically ill during the day. At least there's only 3 more months. 3 more months!

As a part of pregnancy I can slowly see myself becoming my mother. I know! It pains me to even say this! I want to note that my mother is not an awful person, it's just that clearly have gone through my life trying to be the opposite of her, only to end up exactly like her. Here are the suttle hints I'm getting that I'm becoming my mother.

I deeply desire long nightgowns with a bathrobe. Sweatpants and a tank top just aren't cutting it these days.

I NEED a purse with a long strap. I've always laughed at my mother and her need for a purse with a long strap. I get it now. Long straps are easier and when you're waddling around the last thing you want to do is constantly readjust a heavy purse on one shoulder.

The bath tub is calling me. I haven't given in yet, but I'm certain that once I have that long nightgown I'm probably going to take an evening bath and cozy up in my new nightgown.

Granted these are only three things but these three things pretty much define my mother. And they are all things I want, but don't have.

As an aside, any new mom's out there have some books or advice that can help me as a new mom? The further along I get the more I realize I have no clue what I'm doing. I feel like I need to read up or talk to new moms, something. I don't like not being prepared. Right now I feel very unprepared.

Mothers Day

2011-05-08T11:59:00.000-07:00

Happy Mothers day to all of those moms and mom's to-be out there! Happy Mothers Day to you too mom! I'm thinking we'll stop by in a few weekends so that I can begin organizing your sewing room.

Today was my first mothers day as a Mommy-to-be and Dave surprised me with some gorgeous Hydrangea's that he'll be planting outside our home sometime this week. These flowers remind me of the ones we saw in numerous gardens around York Beach about two years ago.

He also bought this hilarious card that was customized. I cracked up because that ultra sound photo has to be the creepiest baby photo I've ever seen. And that's our child.

After a little gift giving, my consumption of about 5 Canadian sugared donuts, and a brief cleaning of the house we were off to hunt for furniture and create our registry. I'm so excited that we're going to be getting this dresser for our little one! It was more than we were looking to spend, but finding something that's less expensive means going from oak to pine. Initially we were fine with pine, but after handling an oak dresser it's hard to be okay with pine. I put a call into the furniture store and they're going to hold this piece for us until Wednesday, when I plan to head over and purchase it. Dave really loves the stain on this dresser, I'm a little torn, I would like it a little darker but I think sticking with the lighter stain probably makes more sense.

Creating a baby registry is stressful! I think we did well, we covered all of our bases with what we'll need. We didn't put any activity gyms or things of that nature because they seem like pieces of clutter that a baby will outgrow. Maybe we'll feel differently in a few months, but right now those things don't seem important. Getting a changing table pad, organizational systems, bedsheets, bumpers, boppy's, etc seemed like things we'd really need. I'm nervous that I didn't select the right baby monitor, and I really want to put a breast pump on there but I'm not sure which one is best (I'll be emailing other mommy's soon to find out what they use). The whole experience had me freak out and realize that I have no clue what I'm doing. No clue at all.

Are there any books that teach this stuff? Perhaps I need to stop reading about cooking and start reading my breast feeding book. I also need a book that tells me what I am suppose to do once the baby comes home. I feel so lost.

Free Day!

2011-05-07T16:18:00.000-07:00

Today I had my first massage. I can't believe I waited this long to have one. The student that worked on me had the most charismatic personality and cracked me up. Prenatal massages seem to be (from what they told us) a little gentler and you're laying on your side and a little on your back while they work on you. I did learn that the therapists in training need to complete about 100 practice hours outside of class and many were eager to get names and numbers so that can improve their technique. I may take them up on it.

After my massage I got to pick up Ollie from his free hair appointment! He looks so clean and adorable. She did a great job with him. I learned that Ollie HATES having his nails trimmed and gave her a quite a time when she tried to clip his nails. She ended up with a battle wound and Ollie ended up peeing and pooping all over himself. I haven't had anyone tell me that he's horrible with nail trimmings which has me wonder if any has even bothered to trim his nails (they're always long and painful). This lady's shop will open up in July and that time she'll be taking paying customers. I plan on going back because I was impressed with how comfortable Ollie was around and I liked the grooming job she did on Ollie.

Tomorrow is the big day. The day we go shopping around town and build our baby registry. I'm terrified to make our registry. How do I know that I'm picking the right kind of high chair or the right stroller. I don't even know what things I should be putting on a registry and what things I should avoid. I guess we'll just wing it and hope for the best.

Rain Showers bring May flowers ?

2011-05-04T16:11:00.000-07:00

As promised, today proved to be a dreary, rainy day. Thankfully the temperature didn't drop too much so I was able to leave the doors open for a bit this evening. There is something so calming and peaceful about the sound of raining hitting your window, avoiding overhead lights (not that my home has that), and burning some fragrant candles. After spending a few hours at the salon to have my gray hairs covered and my color brightened I came home to minimal house work and a cozy bed that was calling my name. Apparently it wasn't just calling my name as the critters decided to bunk up as well.

I cannot stop listening to Adele's new CD. I would listen to it before bed every night if someone would continue to switch the ipod to shuffle. Paired with that CD I have a little fun reading and a little reading that will prove to be helpful 3 months from now.

The quilts my mom made for graduation from high school and graduation from college have come out of the closet since my big catastrophe with the washing machine and my other comforter. I actually think the quilt looks really nice on the bed. My only concern about it being a daily quilt is that our animals tend to spend a lot of time on the bed and I really don't want this quilt ruined.

I was able to get a pretty decent photo of the baby's room. This is a fairly accurate representation of the actual color. The white and black curtains have yet to be hung back up because I'd like to apply some fray check to the curtains and then maybe run them through the wash. My only concern about washing them is that I don't want the colors to fade. Maybe I'll just de-hair them and then hang them up again. Ideally I'd like to get some bamboo blinds for the window (lined of course).

I plan to find a spot in the room for my little owl picture that I made a few years ago. I think it would look cute.

You're beginning to look like a vampire.

2011-05-03T18:34:00.000-07:00

I really ought to stop talking and posting photos of myself. My family would report that I do this because I'm a narcissistic fool that just likes to look at ones self. I'd like to present the argument that I feel absolutely disgusting and huge, so the upper half of my body is about all that feels photographic as of late. And I really dig my new glasses.

I'm growing out of my maternity clothes. This simple fact is depressing. Granted it's not the lower half of my clothing that I'm growing out, even though I've been told my rear end has doubled. It's the upper half. Silly me for thinking that purchasing a maternity shirt at 4 months would last me until birth. Today I was doing this silly dance with my clothing all day. I had to pull up my pants as they fell and then pull down my shirt so that my elastic waistband wasn't showing. It was pretty dreadful. At this point I have only one maternity dress and I wish I could just wear it 24/7. It's soft. It fits. It's comfortable. As long as I wear an undershirt with it I have no horrific wardrobe malfunctions. It's a pretty perfect dress for $15. Thank you Old Navy and your clearance rack!

I'd like to pick up about 6 more dresses and just live in them until August. I probably could make this purchase if I hadn't scheduled a hair appointment, didn't still need to remove my snow tires, and hadn't completely ruined our comforter in the wash this past weekend. The comforter situation is still a little painful. I merely wanted it to be free of kitty and doggie smells. Silly me thinking I could wash a king size permafill comforter in my little washer. A flood ensued, the comforter came out speckled in detergent and I believe my washer was hunger because my comforter no longer has a corner. I screamed. I cried. I cursed anything I could blame. Dave loaded the wounded comforter in a garbage bag, mopped up my mess and didn't say a word. Sometimes he's too nice when I'm an idiot. If he had done that I probably would have shamed him and gotten angry. When I do something stupid he picks up the mess and says it's ok. I guess we balance each other out that way. I'm crazy. He's calm and sane.

I wish tomorrows weather called for sun. According to all available forecasts it sounds like we'll be living with rain for the next few days. I was really hoping for an opportunity to sit out side and get a little bit of color on my very very pale complexion.

Annie and Ollie were both able to take advantage of the Spring sunshine this weekend from their respective spots on the couch. It's funny how they'll both find different places to fall asleep depending on where the sun is casting into our home. Annie is notorious for beginning her sun bathing upstairs in the baby's room, and then will retreat downstairs as the sun shifts throughout the day.

If for some reason we do have an ounce of sunshine I hope to take some photos of the baby's room so you can all see how beautiful this paint color is. I haven't been able to snap a flash free photo of the finished product, and you can't really appreciate the color when it's drowning in flash.

Rolling in the Deep

2011-05-03T16:40:00.001-07:00

It took us a few hours and one large Tim Horton's Ice Coffee but we got the baby's room painted! It looks gorgeous! I'm so glad I didn't try to talk Dave out of that paint color. For as much of a hard time I give Dave about his decorating skills I have to admit he's a genius when it comes to selecting paint colors. When we finished painting Dave looked around the room and said "Now it needs wood floors and crown molding". After having a little chat with a co-worker about crown molding and my fears regarding it's installation it sounds like her brother in law will help us install it. Now to just price it out!

Our home is really coming together. It feels cozy and calm and finished. Our first floor is shades of purple and grey with crisp white curtains. Our upstairs is primarily shades of blue with our bedroom in a rich chocolate brown. Every room is clean and it just feels like home.

Decorating aside, pregnancy is not nice to my back. I'm sitting, no, laying on the couch with two heat packs on my back. I can't seem to go a day without back pain. If the pain doesn't improve I may have to sit out of some work assignments due to my inability to sit for more than an hour without pain.

The baby is moving so much now that I can actually see my belly bounce around with every kick and wriggle. Only 3 more months!

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We're painting!

2011-05-02T07:29:00.001-07:00

Dave went off to the store to pick up paint and we're going to start painting as soon as he returns with all the necessary supplies (ice coffee included).

After this we can place an order on the bureau we like, really start looking for a crib and then finish up (or rather start) that baby registry!

I will say its amazing how often people will get MAD that we're aren't talking baby names and we aren't learning the gender! Can't anyone take a little surprise? I guess it proves that we americans really do plan every detail of our lives. Surprises are fun! Kick back and enjoy it! Besides, is it that necessary that we ascribe gender specific colors and themes?

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day dreaming

2011-04-30T16:24:00.000-07:00

Today was one of those days that I had all the best intentions but no motivation to follow through. I worked an early shift at work (6:30am-3:15pm), got home and just crashed. I woke up at about 6:30pm still feeling exhausted and ready to move. I'm not surprised to be this tired. My work week was intense, I spent all of my evenings working on our home and cleaning, and I'm 6 months pregnant. I'm slightly awake but very anxious to head to bed.

I love that our windows can be open and we're getting the most amazing cool breezes passing through the house. It was so nice to sleep with the window open last night. Around 4am I was awoken by the sound of birds and crickets chirping. I'm so thankful for spring. We had a very long, cold, horrible winter and I'm so glad to have a break from icy roads, frost, weekly blizzards and white knuckled driving. Now to get those snow tires so I can actually listen to music in the car at a reasonable volume.

Dave is gone at a concert with the boys and I'm all alone with the animals, my new Real Simple catalog and visions of what our next home purchase will be. I learned while at work that two of the surrounding towns are a part of our school district. At this time I live in a town that has very high taxes but also one of the BEST school districts in the state. Since I've learned that two other towns are part of SAD 22 I've been creeping on www.realtor.com and looking at the price of homes in the area. It's not depressing for once!

For around $80-$120 we can get a 3 bedroom, 2 bathroom home with adequate yard space. Some of the homes I've viewed have updated kitchens, wood floors and decent bathrooms. In a year, depending on where we are at with our savings plan, I'd like to begin looking at homes. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE our home. It's up to date, adorable, it fits our needs, and is very affordable to maintain. I just feel that with a child it's important for us to have a place with a yard and more storage. I think that sticking with a 3 bedroom will be adequate and I'm not opposed to children sharing rooms, in fact I fully support it.

summer breeze

2011-04-29T14:31:00.000-07:00

The weather is finally letting up and I was able to open all of our doors and windows today. I've been sitting here enjoying the sun on my face, the cool breeze, and my crazy zebra nails. The animals have been enjoying the fresh air as well and both kitties have staked claim on windows in opposite sides of the house. Ollie just keeps on running around like a crazy dog trying to figure out which door is best to keep watch on in case we get visitors.

This week has been so exhausting. I'm technically working 50 hours this week, though with our billing cycle it only counts as 40. I spent most of my "down time" earlier this week clearing out the clutter in our home and rearranging every space. I still have to tackle the massive stack of laundry in our bedroom and then find time to wash the sheets. I may just put that off until tomorrow though because I'm tired and I don't want to do it. I imagine I'd probably be less tired if I just went to sleep when I went to bed. Instead I've spent about an hour or so in bed reading Anthony Bourdain's Kitchen Confidential.

My belly is getting bigger and bigger every day. I can't even imagine my belly getting bigger (thankfully I've gotten the weight gain under control and shouldn't have another 8lb gain this next month). My skin feels so tight and stretched at this point that I'm not sure how I can expand anymore. Today marks 23 weeks, the start of our 6 month. Every day the baby is wiggling and kicking and using my bladder as a trampoline. It's crazy to think that in 4 months our little one is going to be here and our life as we know it will forever be different. I'm beyond excited, and scared.

Dave's going to a concert this weekend, I'll be working a shift at work and then hopefully we'll get around to painting the baby's room. We have so many clothes and little baby items that I desperately want to wash and get into drawers. Oh yeah, we don't have drawers- we'll need to work on picking out a dresser and a crib soon! No wonder I'm exhausted, we have A LOT to do!

On a side note, next week I'm finally getting a hair cut and color. I can't decide if I want to lighten things up and go red / blonde for the summer, or if Im going to keep the same dark shade with peek-a-boo highlights. The color at this time is uncertain, but what is for sure is that I won't be picking at my split ends anymore.

A few tweeks to the living room

2011-04-28T08:56:00.000-07:00

I'm not a photographer. I appoligize for the poor picture quality. Either I use flash and the colors are all off or I don't use flash and the photos are little dark. I can't seem to find balance.

After finishing the kitchen / dining room I decided to do a few minor updates to our living room. I found these great curtains at Target for $8 a panel! The white feels cleaner and lets in a more light. Curtains are such an easy way to alter the appearance of your home. Much to my fiance's chagrin I imagine I will be one of those people that updates our curtains with the seasons.

The wall behind the couch has always been a bit of an odd space. I decided to just clutter the wall with artwork that we had lying around. I think I've almost got it to a place where I'm satisfied. At this time the entire collage looks a bit off balance, but I'm going to leave it that way until I find a frame or print that can balance things out.

Now I just need to drop off a few odds and ends off at goodwill, get around to folding last weeks laundry, and then wash all of our bedding and start this weeks laundry. I feel like I've been on the go all week. Saturday was spent painting the kitchen. Sunday we drove to Augusta for Easter Dinner with family. Monday I worked and then spent the evening moving bookcases, books and other odds and ends around the house. Tuesday I passed out early. And today I spent the whole day picking up our home, hanging things, re-arranging, getting my nails done, and cleaning.

Tonight I'm trying to relax with my nightly glass of diet coke (it's my new vise since I can't have wine), some HGTV, a heat wrap on my sore back, and later I'll be reading "Kitchen Confidential".

It's done!

2011-04-27T15:51:00.000-07:00

I would write a narrative but about this but I'm far too exhausted. Enjoy. For reference, the first photo doesn't capture the color of the kitchen. The second photo does a far better job.

Sneak peak

2011-04-25T18:19:00.000-07:00

A sneak peak at what I've been working on this evening.... Moving furniture while pregnant is exhausting!

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weekend over :(

2011-04-24T16:53:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I get in these obsessive moods where I just MUST have a new piece of furniture or a new item for our house because then everything will seem perfect and look so much better.

Then something happens that changes my mind and I switch to being creative with the furniture & stuff that we do have so that I'm not spending more money on things I may only love for a little while. On this occasion that "something" was a large patch of mold in the walk in closet (that happens to be in the baby's room). We're not sure how to proceed at this point. Dave's cleaned the affected area with bleach. We are pretty certain it grew due to condensation in the closet so it sounds like purchasing a dehumidifier for that room is next on the list. We're not sure if we're going to need to go so far as to remove the sheet rock or if cleaning it will be okay. It's just frustrating. Right after we finish one project another comes up.

So, I think I can say good bye to my dream of owning that cute side bar / buffet.

I've got some ideas of ways to move around the furniture that we do have so that the dining room doesn't feel so empty. It'll be a little bohemian but that works fine for us. We didn't really need to purchase anymore furniture anyways.. right.

Paint !!

2011-04-23T17:54:00.000-07:00

I am exhausted! I spent about 8 hours today painting our kitchen from a green shade to a lovely purple gray that compliments the paint colors in the rest of the main floor. I'm so glad that it's finally done. I've had the paint in my house for well over a year, I've just been too lazy to tackle the project. Balancing myself on counter tops and a ladder was probably not my most brilliant idea at almost 6 months pregnant, but at least it's done.

Now that the kitchen and dining room are similar colors and have a better flow I'm thinking of ways to balance out the dead space that's there. I want our home to be more reflective of our style, which is a mix of clean, modern and rustic. This piece is currently for sale on consignment at a local furniture store. I emailed them to find out what the price is to see if it's even a possibility for us right now. It would look so nice in our dining room and it would give us a little extra storage.

Of course I found this very similar piece online that was painted in a muted green. I'd love to paint the above piece similar to this one featured below.

Once painted we could place some of our herbs & other plants on top and then prop a nice chalkboard against the wall. I'm thinking of getting rid of the mirror I currently have in the dining room and replacing it with some hanging wall vases (DIY style). I'd like to incorporate more flowers and bits of nature into our home.

This photo can kind of give you an idea of what I'm talking about. I'd remove all of the other artwork on the wall, as well as the mirror and patch the holes. Then put the green piece of furniture where that bookcase was, top it off with plants & a chalkboard. In place of the mirror would be some wall vases.

Just a few ideas. It never stops I swear.

weekend warrior

2011-04-22T18:10:00.000-07:00

This weekend I have big plans for being productive. The tiny nail holes in the kitchen are patched, my painting supplies are out and ready, and my ladder is prepped. I'll finally be putting to use that paint I got well over a year ago. Our little kitchen will go from a green to a soft gray that will match nicely with the rest of the rooms on the first floor.

My goal is to incorporate more rustic, old items into the kitchen, dining room and living room. Right now the colors and some of the accessories are so formal that I fear the rooms won't look lived in or cozy. I'd like to make a little chalkboard for the dining room so we can write out our weekly food menu, and I want to purchase a few glass jars for the kitchen so that our sugar, flour and coffee can be on display. I'm trying to be mindful about any purchase I make and ensure that the purchase will be useful and inexpensive.

In my efforts to spend less money and be more mindful of purchases, I stumbled upon some free services that I am definitely going to be taking part in. I contacted a groomer's apprentice today who is offering free dog grooming as she needs to get X amount of practice hours on some specific breeds in order to get her licensing. Ollie is a mutt but I'm hoping he meets one of her needs because this would save me $40! That and little Ollie is in desperate need of a hair cut again.

The other service I learned about through my co-worker who also is pregnant. The nurse at her doctors office called her to let her know about a massage school that is in desperate need of some pregnant women to practice pre-natal massages on. I can't wait to have a free massage. My back has been killing me lately and any TLC it can be given right now will be so helpful.

So I'm off to bed (after reading a little more of Anthony Bourdain's book "Kitchen Confidential") only to wake up early and begin finishing up the kitchen. It feels so good to get these odds and ends done. Once the downstairs is clean I plan on tackling the baby's room.

Lemon = Clean

2011-04-20T16:48:00.000-07:00

In an effort to get over my "funk" about our home and also get out some frustration, I spent the whole morning on my hands and needs scrubbing our kitchen. Boy oh boy was our kitchen filthy! I managed to get most of the gunk and grime out of the floor, walls and appliances. The smell of lemon cleaner makes me happy and I'm feeling better about our place. It's amazing what a little elbow grease can do. Unfortunately my doctors appointment ended up running really late so I wasn't able to scrub the fridge out or the cupboards.

Cleaning always makes me feel better, and dressing up our home with some very inexpensive new curtains doesn't hurt either. The other curtains I had hanging were very dark and heavy and I really wanted to lighten things up. I found this sheer panels at target for a steal at $10 a panel. I'm considering purchasing two similar panels for the living room. Dave and I are talking about changing our window blinds up with some bamboo blinds and think these sheers will compliment bamboo nicely.

Because of the bleeding I experienced this past weekend my doctor decided it was time for me to have my rogahm shot at 21 weeks and again at 31 weeks. The baby is growing at a healthy rate, as am I. I find it funny how the female nurses will make rude comments about what my weight is at every visit, but when I ask my doctor if I should be concerned he says "Nah, don't worry about it. You're doing fine, you're healthy". At this visit the nurse decided to tally up my weight gain (I think in an effort to say "hey! slow down!"). My jaw just about hit the floor. I don't feel like I'm gorging on food but I know I am definitely consuming more milk products (eh, chocolate) that I did before (I used to HATE chocolate and I never drank milk). I'm going to work towards not having desserts and opting for fruit instead this next month.

Please ignore the mess around me. In order to clean the kitchen I moved a lot of crap into the living room. Oh yeah, and I had just had lunch.

The two paint colors. Unfortunately I couldn't get a decent photo of the walls without using the flash. As a result this doesn't really give you a good idea of the actual color. We're leaning towards the lighter blue at this time. I realized a few days ago that the reason I really loved the darker blue is because it's pretty similar to the color I selected for our bathroom- Oops!

I have some ideas about artwork that I want to create- a sunset painting with some tattoo style sparrows. I plan on using my LOVE photo print in the room and a little owl picture that I made with scrap booking paper. This leaves us with quite a few prints that just don't have homes. I'm considering making an Etsy shop to re-sell a lot of the artwork and some of my little knick knacks that need to go.

There's just so much work to do. I'm hoping to spend this weekend spring cleaning the kitchen / dining room and then work my way upstairs. The walls are get scrubbed, the floors scoured, and the artwork re-distributed.

hating.

2011-04-19T16:34:00.000-07:00

I'm in one of those moods right now where I can't stand my home. At this time there is only one room in my house that I love- my bedroom. I like the window dressings, the bedding, the furniture arrangement, the little rug on the floor. I wish we had matching lamps, but aside from that I love it all.

The rest of my house is another story.

My living room feels like a mess. My dinning room looks so unfinished since we moved the bookshelf out. And my kitchen is a disaster. I'm obsessing over every bit of clutter and every bit of dirt. I just want to get rid of so much crap and clean house. I'm strongly considering getting rid of my little collection of lanterns and various candle holders. Maybe I could start selling things on etsy?

I'm hoping that having some time to do some major spring cleaning will help me to focus and relax. I just want to get things done and organized and ready for our baby.

I want to rip out all of the floors on my first floor and install a faux wood floor.

I also really NEED to re-work the artwork arrangement on the wall in the dining room. it's not working anymore.

simple. simple. simple. I just hope I don't throw out things I'll regret later.

Can't shake it

2011-04-19T10:15:00.001-07:00

This weekend was rough. We had our first real “scare” with the baby which involved me needing to go to the hospital to ensure that everything safe and fine and the bleeding I was experiencing wasn’t life threatening to the baby. Thankfully we were assured that everything was okay, the baby was fine and the bleeding stopped. I felt so panicked at the moment. My heart was in my throat and it took all I had in me not to break down in tears.

Even after learning that everything was okay I still felt emotional and teary. It also made me realize how attached I am to this little one that I would do anything to ensure they are safe and healthy. My former co-worker is right. When you have a child it’s like someone takes a piece of your heart and lets it run freely in the world.

Since then I’ve been trying to relax more and calm myself. It’s been so hard because I have a lot of stress in one particular area of my life, and I’m doing a horrible job at managing that stress. I loose my cool too quickly. I’m angry for the rest of the day(s) and I can’t seem to find any way to just let go and relax. Sometimes I feel I care too much and if I just didn’t care I’d have a lot less stress in my life. Thankfully I can walk away from that stress at the end day but it doesn’t stop me from being affected by it.

So tomorrow I think I’ll do some heavy cleaning, a little reading, a little paint prepping and hopefully, hopefully, come Thursday my head will be in a better space.

It's Friday, Friday!

2011-04-15T17:09:00.000-07:00

It's Friday. Sadly I can't even say it's Friday without thinking of that horrid Rebecca Black song. But I digress. It's Friday. I cleaned the house. I made lasagna. I paid the bills. I balanced two check books. I started a load of laundry. The baby is kicking up a storm and I'm trying to talk myself out of purchasing songs off Itunes. If your wondering, I'm on a bit of a Ben Harper kick right now.

Bill paying has been so easy! I have everything set up through Bill pay so all I have to do is type in the amount owed, click submit and all of our bills are paid. It's also so much less stressful to pay bills this way when the money is there. Now if only I could find that balance with my own check book. It has been more challenging for me to budget my own expenses now that I don't have over 2 grand cycling through it each month. I realize how much I was, for lack of a better expression, robbing peter to pay paul. This next pay cycle I intend to take out what I'm permitted to spend on gas, nails & groceries in cash and refrain from writing checks for those expenses.

I need to get this under wraps before the baby comes.

I can't wait until Dave gets home so we can enjoy lasagna, relax and then head to bed early and watch the expendables. As a side note, I really enjoy having a tv in our bedroom. It's nice to watch a movie in bed. Agenda for this weekend:

Work Saturday until 3pm

Copy several of my new CD's into Itunes so I can update the Ipod

Clean up the baby's room

Make a firm decision on which paint color. I love the dark blue, Dave loves the light blue.

Clean up outside

soup for you!

2011-04-13T18:35:00.000-07:00

Remember how I was so excited that my blog was getting so many visits?!? Well, I think I discovered why this was happening. A lovely blogger that gets far more visits than me happened to link to my blog. Now that a week or so has passed my little blog is only getting about 8-15 clicks a day. I suppose I shouldn't be so bothered with numbers, I mean, I'm not writing so that I can be a famous blogger with a million hits. I blog because I like to write and find doing so to be very therapeutic.

In other news, I made the most amazing broccoli cheddar soup this evening. It was so yummy that Dave said "wow this is really good" after one bite. I have a feeling that allowing the soup to simmer for two hours allowed the flavor to really develop properly. I can't help but be proud when I try a new recipe and it comes out fabulous. The soup has definitely redeemed me from my poor chicken pot pie. Here's hoping the lasagna tomorrow comes out just as well!

Check in on Groceries

2011-04-12T16:37:00.001-07:00

I thought I'd do a little post to check in on groceries. A few weeks ago after Dave and I sat down and listed all of our bills and saw how little money we really do have, we decided to begin couponing and creating thoughtful grocery lists based on meals we'd like to have each week. We take turns doing meal planning, cooking and purchasing each week. So far the meal planning piece has been working out really well. What's not working out so well is the couponing. At this time Dave has just abandoned the task of purchasing the weekend paper to purchase coupons. We found after two weeks that using coupons didn't work for us for a few reasons.

Name brand items cost more, and you only really save money if the item is already on sale and you're using a coupon.

Store items are less expensive

Most coupons require you buy in bulk in order to save. We found that in order to buy in bulk and use the coupon we would spend more money for items that we had no means to store, or wouldn't use in time.

Given those factors we've resolved to use coupons when available and if we need them, but to spend more time focusing on what sales are available and compare sale prices verses store brand prices. This week we spent $50 on groceries and have the following meals planned

Chicken Pot Pie (which sadly, I destroyed. Note to self: all veggies in a pot pie must be blanched!)

Greek Pasta

White Pizza

Broccoli Cheddar Soup

Lasagna

It's a little challenging to prepare meals each week when I'm home at 6pm and starving and Dave doesn't come home until 8:30pm. We're trying to be mindful of making meals that can be re-heated or left heated until Dave comes home.

I am proud that I'm cooking so much. It's almost fun to cook a meal each evening and it's far more fun to sit and enjoy that meal with another person.

Paint, Paint and more Paint!

2011-04-11T08:36:00.000-07:00

Yesterday Dave and picked out two paint colors for the baby's room. Both are shades of blue with a turquoise or cyan undertone. We loved them because they were darker, calmer, and very much reminiscent of the ocean- which we love!

This morning I painted a swatch of one of the colors on a few of the walls. Once the paint brush drys I'll be able to paint a swatch of the other color so we can decide which is best. We have been toying with the idea of using both colors, and I couldn't help but reference this picture when the idea popped up.

I love this chevron pattern, I just fear it's going to be too challenging to create on the wall. I imagine the measuring and taping is what would take the longest. If I wasn't 5 months pregnant this would be easy. Lately I'm feeling so tired and sluggish. Just moving around a few items in the baby's room left me exhausted. I wonder how I'm going to find the energy to paint. Dave keeps on telling me he'll help, but I've seen his paint jobs before and I'm a little nervous about his offer.

MOVEMENT!

2011-04-10T08:26:00.000-07:00

I had a very late night snack of brussel sprouts last night. About 10 minutes after I finished the bowl I could feel what felt like little air bubbles in my belly. A part of me was thinking... is this the baby.. or is it something else? After I headed to bed and began to relax I felt bigger jolts and thumps. Immediately I knew- our little one is MOVING and I can FINALLY feel it! Now I can't stop feeling it. Feeling those little punches and kicks has to be the best feeling in the world.

Last night / today has been an amazingly happy day and I can't wait to go into town, get some grocery shopping done, look at new window blinds and paint chips, then perhaps see a movie.

Midnight Dream / Nesting

2011-04-09T04:48:00.001-07:00

Last night I went to bed around 10pm, which honestly was way too late for my 5am wake up this morning. At any rate, around midnight Dave is waking me up asking me where the allen wrench is. Immediately I start to panic and think that there must be something wrong with the garbage disposal again. Thankfully, this wasn’t the case. He had merely forgotten that his mom was planning on coming up today to take the futon!!! He needed the allen wrench to begin disassembling the futon!! So, with the futon gone, you know what this means…

We can start painting the baby’s room and purchasing furniture!!

I’m so excited! The futon and possibly the old TV stand are leaving this morning. That means that all that is left are two small book cases, a tiny plant stand and a radio with speakers!! I’m hoping to sell one of the book cases and with the rest our goal is to shuffle around items in the rest of the house to make room for those odds and ends. If all goes well I hope to be spackling the room this afternoon.

I’m also very thankful that I get to be at work while the moving of the futon is taking place. Nothing stresses me out more than trying to move furniture down the stairs and strap it to a car. I worry about things breaking, people falling, items not staying firmly secured to said vehicle, etc. I’m so so so glad this is getting done!!

Bedroom Edition

2011-04-07T08:00:00.000-07:00

Here's a little peak at the current arrangement of our bedroom. We did end up moving the bookshelf into our bedroom and are using it as a bookcase / entertainment center. I must say this bookshelf that my parents purchased at Ikea as been the most versatile piece of furniture I've ever owned. It's been a vertical bookshelf, a buffet / sideboard and now it's an entertainment center.

I'm actually not minding having a TV in our bedroom. It's fun being able to watch a movie in bed.

As you can see it would look far more stunning if we only had another flat screen. Maybe next year.

Munchkin time!

2011-04-06T18:36:00.000-07:00

That's our little one! The ultrasound tech was so nice and spent about 40 minutes taking pictures our baby. We learned that our baby is growing at a healthy rate, is very active (regardless if I can't feel it), and has no birth defects. The ultra sounds they do now just amaze me. In fact, it's almost a little creepy. We were able to see that our baby definitely has Dave's little nose and appears to have an even larger version of my lips! The ultrasound tech called them "Angelina Jolie lips".

The gender will still be a surprise, though this set of pictures did prompt Dave and I do go baby clothes window shopping. He was looking more towards girl clothes this time and I was looking more towards boy clothes. He feels that our baby "must be a girl with lips like those". I'm still not sure. I will say that this ultrasound has made me even more excited for this baby to come.

Peace of Mind

2011-04-05T18:01:00.001-07:00

There are a few things in the world that calm me, and I'm so thankful for every one of them. I'm trying work on relaxing more and not letting the small stuff irritate me. For instance, having my dog bark incessantly at phantom noises and people really gets on my nerves. He has the most annoying, high pitched bark and just about anything will set him off. In a few months we'll have a screaming baby in our home and I know I can't let myself become too overwhelmed and aggravated by cries that just won't stop. So when Ollie barks I'm trying to relax, ignore it, and focus on something else. The focus on something else piece won't exactly work with a baby, but hey, I'm trying.

For now I'll make a list of things that calm and relax me.

Making Lists. Listing allows me to focus, relax, and really assess what needs to be done.
Folk Music. This may come as a shock to most but Emmie Lou Harris, Ben Harper & Ani DiFranco relax me.
A glass of cabernet sauvignon or chardonnay (though I can't engage in this right now, and I don't really plan to after the baby's born)
Reading a really good book.
Not using facebook. I am so much happier now that I don't use that social networking tool. I gave it up for lent and I feel I may give it up forever. Not sharing every detail of my life via a status update and having close friends and family comment on those moments has made me so much happier.
Writing. Blogging.
Burning a really good candle.
The smell of Lavender.
Snuggling with Ollie & Dave.
Dim lights.
A clean and orderly home.
Creating a to do list and checking off every item.
Saving Money & Paying down debt
Feeling in control of all aspects of my life.
Getting my nails done.
Opening the windows and doors so that a fresh breeze comes in.
Painting. I don't like cleaning up, but I do enjoy painting a room and not feeling too rushed through it. Pair that with good music and I'm all set to go.
Moments when Annie, our cranky kitty, decides she wants to sit next to us and have her head patted.

So this evening I plan to engage in a few items on this list. Annie just decided to sit right next to, the cable isn't working, and pandora will give me a nice collection of folk music to relax to.

Where'd the money go??

2011-04-05T08:00:00.000-07:00

I need a new checking account. Ugh. Sadly, getting a new checking account would mean saying good bye to all of my cute care bear checks, and it would mean transferring all of my banking information over, as well as my direct deposit info. Overall it’s a big, huge, pain in the butt.

But I think it’s necessary.

No, I haven’t overdrawn my account, but I do appear to have messed up somewhere along the way because the $200 buffer I had in my checking account has all of a sudden disappeared and I’m not sure where it’s disappeared to. I went through my banking statements as far as I could but I still can’t find the error. It’s just frustrating.

So, Wednesday I will be going over to the bank to add to Dave to our joint checking account, and I’ll be opening another account of my own. I figure I’ll have two weeks to adjust my direct deposit information (again), and then if I leave the account alone for about a month I should be in the clear to go ahead and close it. Good bye minimum balance fees. Good bye convenient banking hours. Hello fresh start with no fees and horrible banking hours.

Perhaps a fresh start with everything financial would be a good a thing. I’m already feeling such a sense of relief now that Dave and I have a joint account for all of our household expenses.

Speaking of relief, I’m actually feeling calm about getting our home ready for the baby. Perhaps it’s because we finally moved a large piece of furniture of out the baby’s room, and we’ve re-arranged some items in our house to accommodate the moves. We now have a TV in our bedroom. I’m not a fan of televisions in bedrooms. I’ve NEVER had a TV in my bedroom. I read some place that it was bad feng shui to have electronics in your bedroom and have since avoided placing computers or radios in places of sleep. The TV isn’t connected to any cable wires so I can’t imagine it’s going to get much use. We may watch an occasional movie on it but I imagine that would be it. After moving the TV into the bedroom we did have one of those “oh, we should purchase a flat screen, it’d look so much nicer” moments. And then we snapped to reality and decided if we couldn’t invest in a new couch then we couldn’t invest in a new TV. These were things that were just going to have to wait.

Tomorrow we have our 20 week ultrasound and we’re both very excited. Dave has already had nightmares that the doctors have told us the gender of the baby even though we asked them not to. I’m hoping this doesn’t come true. I can imagine that doctors must be cautious about announcing gender if the couple really really doesn’t’ want to know and would really like it to be as surprise.

I’m just anxious to see our little one flip and wiggle and hide it’s little face again. I still haven’t felt any movement from the little bugger and I’m needing some reassurance that our little one is moving around and growing at a healthy rate (lord knows I am). The pictures we get to take home don’t hurt either.

Wood & Welcomes

2011-04-04T08:00:00.000-07:00

I have new readers!! Perhaps I shouldn't be so excited, but really I am! I have 17 followers and my little blog is getting 40 hits a day! I just want to say hello to my new readers (and old) and thanks for stopping by and reading my little ramblings about life, baby, and interior design.

Now, back to baby. I wanted to post a few items that I plan on purchasing for our child. Keep in mind, I love classic baby toys. I want our child to have toys that I know I enjoyed playing with as a child, as well as toys that are more eco-friendly. Here I've picked two toys and one item that I plan on purchasing prior to baby arriving.

I love this little rocking horse! The horse is only $70 and it's available through http://www.etsy.com/people/littlesaplingtoys . Thus far I've purchased two of the rocking horses through this seller and was very pleased with both. The first I purchased had more of a traditional design. I will admit I was more fond of the curly haired horse than the horse with the sprout on the top of it's head. My only complaint would be that it takes the supplier about 2 1/2- 3 weeks to ship your item.

BumGenius diapers. I really want to cloth diaper our child. Not only is it a less expensive option (about $400 for diapers verses $2500), but consumers report that their children don't have issues with diaper rash when they're cloth diapered. Yes, I will have to "deal" with the poop, but I feel it's well worth the investment.

I found these blocks at http://www.amazon.com/ and http://www.zappos.com/ . The blocks cost about $25-30 for a set. I find them nostalgic, fun, and perfect for any child.

What are some baby items that you love or could recommend?

Changing Spaces

2011-04-03T11:41:00.000-07:00

I realize this is a horrible photograph, and it also showcases all the crap on our kitchen table, but please bear with me. My camera is charging so I resorted to using my blackberry. Bad photo or not, you get the point. This is the Ikea bookcase that I've turned on it's side and propped up with wicker baskets that are filled with all of my cds (thankfully nothing has cracked due to the weight).

The reason why I'm photographing this is because we're thinking about moving this bookshelf up to the bedroom and using it exclusively as a bookcase / tv stand. In an effort to move everything out of the baby room this is one of our options (Moving the bookcase will allow us to move the TV out of baby's room). Of course moving this out of the dining room will mean a big blank space that I'm certain I'll want to fill.

Dave and I have been talking about getting a real sideboard / buffet table for that area so that we have some extra storage space for kitchen items, and we'll still have a spot for seasonal flowers and herbs that we grow through out the year. The poor orchid pictured above fell victim to both of us watering it without the other knowing. Oops.

So I was looking online and found a few sideboards that I really liked and wouldn't mind bringing into our home. I tried finding items that were more rustic and natural, verses modern. This home is no longer "Erin's Bachlorette Pad", so it needs to be a good mix of my style and Dave's. Dave loves anything old and rustic, I love old and rustic, but I want it clean and fresh.

This actually looks quite simple to build, and if I had any talent with power tools I would definitely consider constructing a sideboard like this. Only problem would be our kitty that I'm certain would make a nest on one of the shelves.

This isn't a sideboard but I love love love card catalog cabinets. They're even cuter with books and plants popping out of their drawers.

This picture is so iddy biddy but I love the look of this sideboard and this is probably more realistic to what we would actually get. Perhaps this is an option for a wedding gift from family?

A-B-C

2011-04-03T05:00:00.000-07:00

I found this on Live-Love-Loans and decided that I would ~~steal~~ borrow it.

A. Age: 28

B. Bed size: Queen. I always thought a queen bed would be big enough but I'm slowly learning it's far too small. I think Dave and I are going to need a king size bed at some point so that we can both wake up happy and rested.

C. Chore you dislike: I hate doing dishes. I also really hate cleaning the bathroom.

D. Dogs: I love my little Ollie bear!! I got him on a whim when I was 23. Having a dog was a lot more work than I anticipated but I'm so glad that I have him. He's the best.

E. Essential start to your day: A shower. I can't really focus or complete any task unless I've had a shower.

F. Favorite color: I love hot pink. It's a color that makes me very happy.

G. Gold or silver: I like both. I think of silver/white gold as more of an everyday color and gold as more of a special occasion color.

H. Height: 5'5" 1/2. I didn't actually grow until 8th grade when my doctor took me off asthmacort. Prior to going off that medication I was about 4'8". I grew to 5'4" by the end of 8th grade and then another 1 1/2" in high school.

I. Instruments you play(ed): I tried my hand at the clarinet for a month or so in 5th grade. That was the beginning and the end of my musical career.

J. Job title: Case Manager

K. Kids: One on the way!! I'm very very excited for our baby to born and I'm so nervous about being a mother. I'm terrified I'm going to screw up.

L. Live: Outside of Bangor, Maine.

M. Mom’s name: Joan, but it's pronounced Jo-Anne

N. Nicknames: One of my friends in college began calling me Celina. That's about it. Dave and I have silly nicknames for each other that I don't care to share.

O. Overnight hospital stays: Ugh. I'm not sure how often I was in the hospital as a child, but I know there were a few visits when they learned I had asthma. I was hospitalized again for a few days when I was 13 for more asthma related issues. When I was 17 I had my first go at an ablation to correct my WPW. When I was 27 I had my second go at an ablation and stayed for one night. Thankfully that last time was successful. My next overnight will probably be when the baby is born sometime this August.

P. Pet peeves: When the trash can is full and it's not taken out. When I find laundry still in the dryer that hasn't been dealt with for days. When people pick fights for no reason what so ever.

Q. Quote from a movie: I can't think of any. I watch movies but I'm not really into them. I can quote books though. R. Righty or lefty: Righty. S. Siblings: I have a younger sister and brother. My sister lives about 2 hours away and my little brother is a host on Carnival Cruise- he travels a lot.

T. Time you wake up: Depends on the day. Usually I wake up around 6:30-6:45 so I can get to work at 8am. In general I'm awake by 7am, any day of the week.

U. Underwear: Eh, I buy em and wear them.

V. Vegetables you don’t like: I like all veggies. I love broccoli, lima beans, brussel sprouts. I'm not as crazy about carrots. Mushrooms aren't a veggie but I hate them. I think fungi is disgusting.

W. What makes you run late: When I decide to style my hair. If I style it that involves blowing it out and curling it. My hair is pretty long so it can take a while.

X. X-rays you’ve had: I've had chest x-rays when my asthma is bad, and on one occasion they used it to confirm I had pneumonia. I also get my teeth x-rayed at the dentists when they deem it necessary.

Y. Yummy food you make: I love my homemade mac and cheese. It's so simple too! Dave and I like to spice it up by adding some jalapeno peppers to the mix.

Z. Zoo animal favorites: I want a goat. Every time we go to the fair I hang out with the goats. I think they're adorable and very animated. When I was at the Windsor Fair one of the young boys watching the baby goats let me hold one. I was in love.

Sweet Escape

2011-04-02T16:43:00.001-07:00

Lately I've been reading as though there's a fire inside me that only a book can extinguish. I've felt so anxious about the baby, our home, my job, finances, etc that it's hard for me to think or sit still. I'll fidget a lot, I make long, drawn out lists that I probably won't get to, and then I begin day dreaming of how I'm going to accomplish everything I feel needs to be done, like, yesterday. It's exhausting.

The only thing that seems to calm my mind and relax me has been books. For the past few weeks I've been wrapped up in Lisbeth Salander's world, and now I'm commiserating with Stephen Drew in Chris Bohjalian's new novel. Prior to Lisbeth & Stephen I was feverishly reading the adventures of Sookie Stackhouse.

As I read these books my mind quiets. I forget about everything that is stressing me out (I haven't felt the baby move yet), and I relax. My mind is consumed with their worries, their anxieties, their problems and mine can rest of a shelf for a while.